Travel partner with benefits

by Dating Goddess on April 23, 2014

My post-divorce dating has not yielded a beau who liked — or had the means — to travel. I love to travel so have scratched my itch by traveling with or meeting up with friends.

That doesn’t mean I haven’t been invited to travel with men, but unfortunately, they’ve been men I haven’t yet met or had met only once or twice. I knew they were really just looking for a travel partner with benefits, as they asked me to share their cruise cabin or their hotel room. I wanted to avoid being stuck on another continent with someone who was ponderous or obnoxious.

I’m now getting to know a man who lives 500 miles away and has travel benefits from retiring from an airline. Several times a month he travels cross country to visit family, or abroad for a brief respite. In our initial call, he offered that one of the benefits to his future sweetheart was as much travel as she wanted. I teased him, “We haven’t even met and you’re already sweetening the pot!”

And it is indeed a sweetener, as I love exploring new places and visiting friends abroad.

However, there are some drawbacks.
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Moving from friends to more

by Dating Goddess on February 26, 2014

Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend? Or maybe you’ve been too afraid of ruining the good friendship you have if a romance doesn’t work out?
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Emotional cheating

by Dating Goddess on February 17, 2014

Much has been written about how Facebook has helped end many marriages because people rekindle relationships with old flames. They begin romancing each other through emails, texts and calls until their allegiance to their spouse withers and they have become etionally attached to their new-old flame. Sometimes the damage is done without their actually seeing each other after decades or having a physical affair.

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Would you date a man with no libido?

by Dating Goddess on January 26, 2014

A pal shared a story of his best friend, Mel, who had some recent health challenges which resulted in him having zero libido. Not just during the treatment of his health problem, but afterward. Prior to this circumstance, Mel’s sex drive had been high. He’s been married to his current wife for about 10 years so she knew him during the high-lust years.
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Are you longing to end the quest too soon?

by Dating Goddess on January 10, 2014

brilliant

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Most of the people I talk to about dating want to find “The One” quickly and get the dating roller coaster ride over. They don’t enjoy the process of meeting new people and being disappointed when there isn’t mutual attraction. Or if there is, it doesn’t last long.

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What does “I’m not ready to be exclusive” mean to you?

by Dating Goddess on December 31, 2013

The other day I was helping a newly dating pal navigate dating waters. He’s been dating about 6 months after the breakup of a long-term relationship and was multidating. He’s gone out with one woman multiple times in the last 6 weeks — we’ll call her Amy — and continues to see other women including another woman he’s seen 5 times. Let’s call this woman Betty. Amy is head-over-heels for him and thinks he’s The One. They’ve slept together a few times.

He’s not specifically told Amy about Betty or any of the other woman, but feels he’s communicated by saying “I’m not ready to be exclusive.” When we talked, he was feeling he and Betty were going to get intimate on their next date in a few days.

He is a good guy, very thoughtful, conscientious and sensitive. He’s not a player, which I define as someone who is knowingly deceitful to get what he wants. He called because he wanted to ensure that he had done the right thing with Amy by telling her he wasn’t ready to be exclusive. I had to tell him the bad news.
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What’s your definition of romantic?

by Dating Goddess on December 26, 2013

A 26-year-old pal shared with me that he took his girlfriend around the neighborhood to enjoy the Christmas lights. “She said we don’t do enough romantic stuff and she wanted to do see the lights. So I asked her if this was romantic and she said yes.” I gave him kudos for listening to her and acting on giving her a romantic experience.

Which launched a discussion of what is considered romantic. I said, “Do you know her definition of romance?”

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How new cars are like new men

by Dating Goddess on December 20, 2013

A few weeks ago I bought a new car — at least it was new to me. A neighbor was selling his used SUV with very low mileage. I had been thinking it was time to replace my car, but I hadn’t done any research or decided what I wanted. I knew I didn’t want to buy new from a dealer although my last 3 cars were purchased that way. I also knew I wanted a low-mileage car with more cargo space than my sedan, and one that had been well maintained.

This car just sort of fell in my lap. Similar to how many midlife singles want their next mate to show up. They don’t want to do a lot of work to find their next love, but if someone comes along who meets their criteria, they won’t say no.

When a friend recently saw me with the car she asked how I liked it. I thought for a moment, then responded, “I like it but haven’t fallen in love with it yet.”

Boom! It hit me! My car was a lot like some men I’ve dated.
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Dating as networking

by Dating Goddess on December 15, 2013

We typically date with a goal: to find someone with mutual attraction. Some of us also want love and a long-term, committed relationship. Some want marriage. Some want just a fling.

After dating a number of people and we don’t have the outcome we want, it can be frustrating. However, if we shift our perspective, we can avoid that frustration — at least most of it. After going out with 114 men and not finding “the one” I’ve learned a positive point of view is healthier than a negative one. It would be easy to say that there are no good men out there. Instead, I see that there are lots of good men, and even the ones who aren’t a romantic fit have other positive attributes.

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Instant boyfriend

November 25, 2013

I’ve noticed a trend. I don’t know if it’s just me or if it is common. When I’ve met someone online and we’ve exchanged some emails and phone calls, when we meet there’s a sense of familiarity. The meeting seems like a formality, just verifying the other isn’t bizarre looking or socially inept and is […]

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Is your prattling turning off your dates?

November 18, 2013

Blathering. Babbling. Rambling. You hog the air time. Instead of it being a dialog, it’s a monologue. You go on and on, barely taking a breath, not allowing the other to interject anything but “uh huh.” You don’t ask a question. You lose the opportunity to get to know a potentially great mate. You lose […]

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