“Women grow attached to men through the favors they grant them; but men, through the same favors, are cured of their love.” —Jean de la Bruyere This quote made me examine my attitude about favors, as hopefully it will you, too. Women: do you grow fond of men by the things they do for you?…
Month: July 2007
Belief in a wreath
I recently read about a Lithuanian summer solstice ritual where at midnight unmarried women toss leaf and flower wreaths into rivers. The belief is that their wreath will be pulled out downriver by the man of their dreams. Were it this easy to telegraph to the man of our dreams that we are available and…
If you’re in the public eye, be careful how you behave in dating
Sometimes I get flummoxed by how people behave. I wonder, “What would motivate someone to…” or “How could they possibly think that this behavior is acceptable… or “Doesn’t she have a clue how this would affect her reputation?” I’m even more flummoxed with people’s — okay, men’s — behavior in dating. I’m sure women do…
The midlife dating hero(ine)’s journey
Last night I watched the DVD “Joseph Campbell: The Hero’s Journey” because I wanted to know more about his work. In The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Campbell codified thousands of years of myths from multiple cultures into what he described as The Hero’s Journey. Star Wars, Matrix and countless other movies and stories follow…
Making the rounds
I feel like a doctor making her hospital rounds checking on patients. But instead of looking in on Mr. Hernandez after his gallbladder surgery, or Mrs. Fukumoto after her hemorrhoid removal, I check on D1ForU, DreamBeau, LoverBoy1951. I go from Match.com to YahooPersonals to Chemistry.com to SoulMate to see if I have any emails or…
Failed phone audition
We’d flirted online a few times many months ago, then stopped. I can’t remember why. We started again last week. Last night he called. This psychology professor included these tidbits in his 45-minute monologue: He told me in great detail of his recent tooth extraction — his third — and his options for implants or…
“Why Men Leave Home”
Last night I watched the 1951 B-film “Why Men Leave Home.” I found it on the Blockbuster site and was interested to see what messages women were given a half-century ago about beauty and relationships, and how these messages have changed — or not. The plot in a nutshell: A “dowdy” woman puts housework ahead…
Why men disappear when it gets serious
I’m reading my new best friend 🙂 Gina Barreca‘s book, Perfect Husbands (& Other Fairy Tales): Demystifying Marriage, Men and Romance. Dr. Barreca is an academic who can make all that stuffy research come alive through her gift of humor and insightful writing. This book tackles understanding the perception of marriage and the evolving roles…
The dating hobby
Have you found yourself feeling that dating is a hobby? And just like some hobbies, you do it more or less often than other things you enjoy. I find myself immersing myself in some hobbies, then totally abandoning them for long stretches. And just like belly dancing, scuba diving or parachute jumping, you need specialized…
“Are you man enough to be my man?”
This can be a common thought for powerful, successful, midlife dating women. It was expressed by DG reader “Diamond” in a question to me: I’ve been in business my whole life. A friend’s mother shared this advice just prior to my running off to meet what I thought was the man of my dreams in…
Avoiding a trip to Abilene in dating
I have nothing against Abilene. I’ve been to Abilene, KS and it was a nice town, home to the Eisenhower Museum. I’ve not been to Abilene, TX. But I’m really talking about the metaphor described in the management education film called “The Abilene Paradox.” In the film, adult family members are visiting their parents and…