Tag: dating after forty

  • The Goatherd and the Goddess

    I dated a sweet man who grew up in an African village. He came to the US at age 19 to go to school. I loved hearing his stories of growing up in his village, living in mud huts, bathing in the nearby river, gathering water from a pond, making fire from sticks and moss, […]

  • Keeping it 100

    The phrase “keeping it 100” comes from “keeping it 100% real,” meaning being 100% honest. It’s shorthand for no BS, don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, tell me the unvarnished truth. Don’t hold back. I decided to try this with a man while we were exploring going from pals to more. […]

  • Appreciating *Who* He Is Over *What* He Is

    A man may enter your life who does not hold the work title or financial status you are seeking. But he’s a good man. He is honest, has integrity, treats you respectfully, listens to you, and is accommodating to your desires. The “what” is his profession. The “who” is his character, values and behavior.

  • “You Do You”

    It’s commonly said that women try to change their man into someone more to their ideal. Men, however, are afraid women will change, as they like what they have. Not that a man can’t wish a woman was a better cook, was more punctual, neater, or had other habits he liked. But (generally) he won’t […]

  • What’s Your “Need for Affiliation”?

    Agal pal shared with me the concept of people having different needs for affiliation — how much “people contact” they need. As you would guess, some have a very low need for affiliation — someone like the Unabomber who is content to live like a hermit with human contact only a few times a year, […]

  • “Are You Man Enough To Be My Man?”

    This can be a common thought for powerful, successful, midlife dating women. It was expressed by Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 reader Diamond in a question to me:             I’ve been in business my whole life. A friend’s mother shared this advice just prior to my running off to meet what I thought […]

  • Moving from friends to more

    Have you ever had a guy friend-crush? A guy pal who you’d like to be more? But you haven’t flirted or made your interest known because he might already have a wife or girlfriend? Or maybe you’ve been too afraid of ruining the good friendship you have if a romance doesn’t work out?

  • Opening the kimono

    We’d been talking for a few weeks before meeting. I’m not fond of trying to kindle a relationship with someone living 1000 miles away, but he had certain rare attributes I’ve been looking for in a partner, but unable to find locally.

  • If having sex meant you were married

    I attended a lovely Jewish wedding last weekend. The bride was resplendent and the groom handsome as they stood under the  chupah in front of the rabbi (the bride’s father) and the cantor (her god-father). Outside at sunset, the family and friends stood encircling the couple on the grass. The cantor’s sweet singing, including a […]

  • An awkward situation

    In midlife dating, we sometimes encounter situations that are just too awkward to have a ready-made answer. I remember one from early in my dating re-entry. I wish I could forget it. I’m not sure I would have an easy answer if it happened again.

  • Have you “marked” your man?

    I’d posted a brief, “I’m glad you’re in my life” message to my then-beau’s social networking page after we were exclusive for four months. He said, “I feel like a fire hydrant.” “What do you mean?” I asked curiously.