My husband of nearly 20 years left me in April ’03, just 11 days shy of my 48th birthday. I started dating 18 months later. Generally, I have had a great time meeting interesting men, some of whom became romantic beaus, some became treasured friends, and some I never heard from again.
In the beginning, I had dates with single male colleagues, but I quickly found Internet dating was the way to explore the most “inventory” and qualify men who I thought might be a good match. I’ve discussed this in various postings and put my thoughts together in one of the 13 Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 books.
I am not one of those well-preserved, gorgeous, marathon-running middle-aged women. I have been told I am attractive, but I am overweight and not a gym rat. So while I am active, I do not match the description 90% of men’s profiles say they want: slender, athletic, toned, fit. I have some wrinkles — what one sweet suitor mistakenly called dimples. I have what Bridget Jones called “wobbly bits,” as most non-surgically enhanced middle-aged women do. My genes — and a lifetime addiction to chocolate — have made their mark. Yet I’ve met and dated some wonderful men, so even if you’re not a lingerie model, you can find guys who will think you’re attractive, perhaps even hot!
In my professional life, I am a bestselling author of workplace effectiveness books, speaker and management consultant. I’ve appeared on Oprah, 60 Minutes, Wall Street Journal, National Public Radio and USA Today as well as international media.
This blog is intended to not only be useful to others and cathartic for me, but is the genesis of a series of books (13 so far!) and topic for fun, thought-provoking speeches. I’m calling myself a dating philosopher and giving date-a-vational speeches! Let me know if you know a group who would like an entertaining after-lunch speech on how lessons learned from dating have implications in business and personal relationships and well as life philosophies.
How did I come by the Dating Goddess moniker? After a few months of dating dozens of men — one week yielded 7 dates with 6 guys in 5 days — my friends dubbed me this name. I liked it so it stuck.
I continue to search for my “one,” but I have learned a lot along the way, and my single and not-single friends have loudly encouraged me to share my experiences and lessons in the hopes of helping others navigate the adventure of dating with more success. And to have a delicious time while doing it!