Who is the Dating Goddess?

Dating GoddessMy husband of nearly 20 years left me in April ’03, just 11 days shy of my 48th birthday. I started dating 18 months later. Generally, I have had a great time meeting interesting men, some of whom became romantic beaus, some became treasured friends, and some I never heard from again.

In the beginning, I had dates with single male colleagues, but I quickly found Internet dating was the way to explore the most “inventory” and qualify men who I thought might be a good match. I’ve discussed this in various postings and put my thoughts together in one of the 13 Adventures in Delicious Dating After 40 books.

Winning at the Online Dating Game: Stack the Deck in Your Favor

I am not one of those well-preserved, gorgeous, marathon-running middle-aged women. I have been told I am attractive, but I am overweight and not a gym rat. So while I am active, I do not match the description 90% of men’s profiles say they want: slender, athletic, toned, fit. I have some wrinkles — what one sweet suitor mistakenly called dimples. I have what Bridget Jones called “wobbly bits,” as most non-surgically enhanced middle-aged women do. My genes — and a lifetime addiction to chocolate — have made their mark. Yet I’ve met and dated some wonderful men, so even if you’re not a lingerie model, you can find guys who will think you’re attractive, perhaps even hot!

Dating GoddessIn my professional life, I am a bestselling author of workplace effectiveness books, speaker and management consultant. I’ve appeared on Oprah, 60 Minutes, Wall Street Journal, National Public Radio and USA Today as well as international media.

This blog is intended to not only be useful to others and cathartic for me, but is the genesis of a series of books (13 so far!) and topic for fun, thought-provoking speeches. I’m calling myself a dating philosopher and giving date-a-vational speeches! Let me know if you know a group who would like an entertaining after-lunch speech on how lessons learned from dating have implications in business and personal relationships and well as life philosophies.

How did I come by the Dating Goddess moniker? After a few months of dating dozens of men — one week yielded 7 dates with 6 guys in 5 days — my friends dubbed me this name. I liked it so it stuck.

I continue to search for my “one,” but I have learned a lot along the way, and my single and not-single friends have loudly encouraged me to share my experiences and lessons in the hopes of helping others navigate the adventure of dating with more success. And to have a delicious time while doing it!

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Erik Olvera January 4, 2007 at 2:23 pm

Hey, there. I’m a writer for the Mercury News and I’m writing a story about dating over 50. Two people – in less than 10 minutes – told me you would be perfect to interview for this piece.

Steve Barr May 24, 2007 at 6:43 pm


Wonderful blog and I’m reading through it all. I’ll be starting one soon from a male’s perspective once I finish evaluating theavailable dating siteson teh net. I am currently registered and have ads on 28 different dating sites and I’ll have some interesting things to report.

Steve Barr
Phoenix, AZ

Char June 3, 2007 at 3:45 am

I’m very similar to how you describe yourself–54 and attractive although not modelesque–and have been doing the single shuffle since ’96. I’d begun to think the only women not married were those under 40 beauties who seem to always end up with a Prince Charming.

You provide a good view on what it can be like for those of us who haven’t found our “happily forever after.”

Thanks for your experiences, humor and little slices of life …

Bethany Murray June 13, 2007 at 2:57 pm

Hi Goddess!! I was dating over the internet about 5 years ago and had a great time! I am currently 63 years old, found the love of my life on the internet and we just got married about 2 months ago. I am a CA Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, too. I can’t wait to read your blogs! I’ll subscribe and refer your blog to my slightly over 40 daughter who will soon be single. Warmly, BDM

Linda Franklin July 6, 2007 at 3:47 pm

Just discovered your blog and I know you hear this all the time – it’s sensational. I tried to find a direct email to you but couldn’t. I wondered if it would be OK to put a link to your blog on mine http://www.boomersmakingadifference.com. My audience is primarily boomers over 50 and I write about health, beauty, relationships, finance and spirituality. I think my readers would really enjoy reading your blog too.

Thanks for your consideration.

Linda Franklin,Director
High-Yield Living

Lisa Maynard October 16, 2007 at 6:09 am

I stumbled across your web-site after breaking up with a guy I’d been seeing for a year…I’m 45 and before that had spent the best part of 10 years as a ‘singleton’. I wanted to read something to help mend my aching heart….and my goodness did I find it!
I live in England where its still not quite as socially acceptable to publicise the fact that you internet date (although it is getting better) but the stories (blogs?) that I have read on this web site are inspirational, intellegent and meaningful if you are in the position that I am.
I just wanted to say thankyou for helping ease my (now less) broken heart.

Please keep up the good work…it made a difference to how I felt.

David Martinez January 11, 2010 at 1:19 am

I have always adored the full figured women. God meant for a woman to have a lot of curves .

Joan Price July 11, 2012 at 12:58 pm

Oh, my goodness, what a goldmine this blog is! So glad someone told me about it. I write about sex/dating/relationships for people over 50/60/70+, and I give a workshop titled “How the Heck Do We Date At This Age?” next time I give it, I’ll tell attendees about you!

Joan Price

Author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty.

Join us — we’re talking about ageless sexuality at http://www.NakedAtOurAge.com.

ccg October 22, 2013 at 12:24 pm

I love your writing so much!

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