Category: First-rate first dates

  • Extricating yourself from a dud date

    There are good dates, ambivalent dates, bad dates, and sometimes dates that are none of the above, just clearly not encounters with someone who is in any way a match. They can be painful when you, for manners sake, must stay longer than you would prefer. A while ago, after a few email and phone […]

  • When his hand is on your knee too soon

    DG reader Toni asks: I just had a second date with a man who, during the show, put his hand on my leg. I removed it. To me that is way more intimate than holding hands or a hug is — the kind of intimate “owning” thing that a serious other does — not someone […]

  • Clothes make the man

    Nearly eighteen months ago a man sent me an email on a dating site where I wasn’t a member. Although he was in the right geographic, age and height range, his pictures showed an unsmiling, sunglasses-wearing, goatee-sporting man in a sports-team T-shirt holding up a newspaper with an unreadable headline. Huh? This is the best […]

  • Assuming privileges

    When you talk to a potential suitor regularly for more than a few weeks before meeting, a false sense of intimacy can develop. In flirty or soul-baring emails and/or phone conversations, you can begin to feel a budding emotional connection to the other. Then when you do meet, there is an odd closeness. You feel […]

  • First-encounter mismatch

    DG reader PC wrote: I enjoy your columns on What do you do if it is obvious in the first 5 minutes that there is not a fit? Do you sludge through the evening or cut your losses early? I don’t mean to be cruel but sometimes it seems to be worse to lead […]

  • Playgirl glory

    It took five months of occasional email exchanges to finally meet. It was worth the wait. Why so long? He had been traveling the world for a non-profit project he founded. He was in the States infrequently during the past year, and even more rarely at his home in my area. As part of getting […]

  • “I’m a nerd!”

    [googmonify]8604416547:left:120:240[/googmonify] So said the professor with a Ph.D. and several masters degrees. My Google search revealed a page (not written by him) that called him “a famed professor” in his area of study. Other sites also lauded him. So I thought perhaps he was being modest when saying he was a nerd as he pursued […]

  • Are you a generous conversationalist?

    This weekend I had the opportunity to be with a handful of extremely smart, highly accomplished executive women friends. I noticed two things about our conversations: Some of the women add to the conversation only what they think would be of interest to others, not whatever crosses their mind at the moment. Some of the […]

  • Good first-date advice from a gay man

    The following was written by Brian Rzepczynski, “The Gay Love Coach” but the concepts apply to heterosexual relationships as well. I thought his concepts were so good, I wanted to share them with you (with his permission). Change the gender references to what fits for you. “The First Date: Assessing His Boyfriend Potential” You sit […]

  • The zest test

    An attractive, successful, intelligent, sexy 48-year-old man told me on our first date that he’d only had two other dates in the last 3.5 years. I asked why. “I’m not attracted to most women.” This was unusual, as I’d heard that many men are attracted to a lot of women who meet their physical criteria. […]

  • The faux vacation fling

    You had an instant, magical, mutual connection. On the first date you both expressed how attracted you were to the other, and how much you enjoyed your time together. He kissed you on the cheek during dinner, showing that he was a gentleman — not assuming privileges too soon. After dinner, neither of you wanted […]