A guy I’d been dating persistently tried to pressure me to go sexually further than I was comfortable. I continued saying “no” and reminded him that he had agreed to my boundaries. He kept commenting on what he’d like to be doing with me. I finally got tired of his trying to persuade me, so said “You can enjoy what you have or you can complain about what you don’t have.” I told him we would stop what we were doing if he didn’t stop trying to pressure me to go further.
As I later began to date others, I realized I needed to take the phrase to heart myself. When I find myself complaining about some new love interest not calling as frequently as I’d like, I realize I should just enjoy when we do talk and get together. If I’m not happy that my guy doesn’t like to do all the activities I like, I remind myself that I can’t expect a mirror-image sweetheart, and I focus on the fun things we both enjoy.
So when you hear yourself complaining about what he doesn’t do or say, see if you can turn it around to focus on what he does or says that lights up your heart. Both of you will be so much happier.