In dating, it’s easy to take things personally if there are problems or hiccups. Sometimes the guy you’re seeing does or says something that is a reflection of his attitude toward you, and you take offense. But often his behavior has nothing to do with you. It’s harder to realize this when he attributes positive…
Are you ready for Mr. Great?
Review of “All Men Are Jerks”
All Men Are Jerks — Until Proven Otherwise: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men by Daylle Deanna Schwartz I was put off by the title of this book, just as I had been with Why Men Love Bitches. It turns out both books are full of sound advice, but their publishers must have decided inflammatory…
Disguised compliments
At dinner, a date once exclaimed, “Girl, I’m glad you like to eat!” I immediately wondered if I was wolfing down my meal, or if I had ordered too much and he thought I was pigging out. After quickly assessing I’d done neither, I asked what he meant.
Rejecting preconceived notions
Do you have biases about supposed characteristics attributed to a potential suitor’s personality, values and behaviors based on limited information? For example, do you think lawyers are hard-nosed and blood thirsty? Accountants are boring? Men over X age are sluggish and out of shape? Short men are…; tall men are…; men born abroad are…; men…
Dating with disabilities
DG reader Sherri asks: I recently met a man online who had one arm. We talked on email and by phone for about a month before meeting because we live 60 miles apart. When I finally met him, he was cute, funny, smart — but I could not get past the disability, which was more…
Do you like yourself better now?
“I like you better now than when you were married,” a professional acquaintance shared recently. It was a surprising statement from someone I didn’t know well. But it got me thinking. How am I different than I was 5 years ago when my ex left? What has caused the change? Do I like me more…
Are you angry with him — or yourself?
Lately I’ve noticed myself getting angry with men I’m getting to know. The causes can be varied: he doesn’t call when he says he will, he doesn’t call for weeks then acts like we talked yesterday, he gets too fresh too soon, he doesn’t honor my stated boundaries, he makes assumptions without checking them out…
Fresh start. New beginning.
[googmonify]8790107066:right:120:600[/googmonify]Within a few weeks of my ex announcing he was leaving, these four words came to me while I was sleeping. I want to say they were in a dream, but they were so vivid and clear it was as if they were said by someone standing next to my bed. While I was still…
New approach to dating resolutions
I know it’s clichéd. Talking about New Year’s resolutions on New Year’s Eve. Ho hum. How original — not! But I heard a BBC World Service report that made me think differently about resolutions — especially dating resolutions.
Thanks for unknown blessings to come
“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” ~Native American prayer Since it’s Thanksgiving week here in the US, this quote held significance for not only giving thanks for treasures already in our lives — our families, bounty and life — but also for dating. One of the fun things about dating is not…
Why are we drawn to bad boys?
They are like forbidden foods when we are on a diet. They pull us toward them, no matter how much self-control we try to have. We work to resist, but their beckoning becomes too much for us. We succumb to their wiles. What is it about bad boys — who are, of course, really midlife…