The art of consideration

When most guys are starting to woo a woman, they work to make her happy. They do things that they think will show they are considerate and care. They suggest activities they think she’ll like.

I’ve dated guys who were very considerate. One said “You pick the movie/restaurant and I’ll pay.” to show he was flexible. Others have brought small gifts they think I’ll like, or suggested movies or restaurants they are pretty certain I’d like. This goes a long way in the wooing department.

However, ask yourself if what he is doing that he thinks is considerate matches your definition. One potential suitor calls me every day, which I’m sure he thinks is showing he’s considerate. Unfortunately, he calls me at 7:30 a.m. on his way to work. I am not a morning person. So he awakens me, then chastises me for being a sleepy head. He goes to bed at 9:00, I go to bed between 11 and midnight. So he’s bright eyed at 5:30. I am not.

So even though I’ve explained to him that I am not a morning person, he continues to call when it’s convenient for him, not me.

While I have given him grace and thought about his point of view — that he is being considerate — I’ve finally concluded that he isn’t listening when I tell him he’s awakening me, so is not being considerate. I think consideration is a foundation to a positive relationship. So I’m going to have to tell this guy not to call me — no matter what the time!