Thank you Taylor Swift, for a lyric that perfectly reflects my sentiment. Especially now.
Why?
A month ago, my boyfriend from 3 years past indicated he “liked” my photos on a dating site. Keep in mind during 5 months of exclusivity he repeatedly told me I was perfect for him, then broke up with me by text. Following the text, he asked me to remove him from my contact list.
Now, he’s reaching out? No thanks.
I didn’t respond.
This week he texted me, “Hey beautiful, hoping you have a great new year.”
I didn’t respond.
Why?
If I responded with just “Thanks” he could interpret that I wanted to have more contact.
I could have responded, “You jerk. You asked me to remove you from my contacts yet you are now contacting me. Get lost.” But that, no doubt, would have riled him into writing hateful, hurtful comments, as he’s done in the past.
So no response seemed best. Just don’t engage. An absence of communication means “No thanks.”
We’ll see if that’s how he reads it.
No matter what, however, we are never, ever getting back together. Thanks for the verbiage, Taylor. Perfect. It’s sad that a lyric about teenage love is applicable for midlife daters, too.
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♫ Never ever EVER getting back together ♫
I have had a number of ex-boyfriends contact me, YEARS later, and these were always men who had dumped me (not I them). I admit that sometimes, in loneliness and desperation, I would consider giving these men “a second chance.” However, when I did, it quickly ended in disaster. You were right, DG, to not even bother to respond.
Almita — I’m glad you agree from your experience. It seems we’ve grown after they dumped us but they didn’t!
Love this post! We’ve all been down this road, but it takes a wise woman with years of experience not to get hooked back in. He’ll get the message. What a jerk! I’m curious if you have responded if he had written to apologize and said, “Hey, I just wanted to apologize for what a jerk I was. I know I hurt you and I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry.” I know that didn’t happen, but I was curious what you’d do if it did.