I’ve adapted a folk tale to dating. It goes like this:
On the outskirts of town, an older woman was gardening next to the road when a stranger pulls up and leans out her window.
“Hello there. I’m headed to your town to see if it would be a good place to resettle. I’m single and am looking for a place to find some guys to take me out. Tell me, what kind of single men live in this town?”
“What kind of single men were there in the place you came from?”
“What kind? Cheatin’, lyin’, two-timing, self-absorbed, immature, sex-obsessed jerks. I couldn’t find one who was worth having a second date with they were such losers.”
“Well,” responded the gardener, “I reckon those are the kind of single men you’ll find here.”
The stranger drove on, shaking her head as she called to the gardener, “Men are cads all over. All the good ones are taken or gay!”
The gardener went back to tending her flowers. A few hours later another woman pulls up. The driver gets out of the car.
“Good afternoon, ma’am. What a beautiful garden you have. I’m wondering if I might interrupt you a moment to ask you a question.”
“Sure,” says the gardener.
“I’m considering moving to your town. I’m single and am wondering what kind of single men are around these parts. What can you tell me about them?”
“Well,” the gardener began, “what kind of single men were there in the place you came from?”
“Oh, there were many wonderful men. I went out with some lovely, intelligent, thoughtful, fun guys, many of whom have become treasured friends. I hated to leave, as there were so many interesting guys to do things with. I wish I could have stayed, but I was transferred to this area and the opportunity was too good to turn down. I was having a great time, though, meeting some good, charming guys.”
As she clipped a particularly beautiful rose the gardener said, “I reckon those are the kind of single men you’ll find here.”
“Thank you, ma’am. I know I’m going to like living here. I appreciate your input.”
As she turned to leave, the gardener presented her with the rose.
(Adapted from “The Woman Who Walked to Paradise” by Robert Stevens Fish.)
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