When people hear that I’ve dated 71 men in 2 years and that I often date several guys simultaneously, they commonly ask, “How do you keep them straight?”
I respond, “With a Date-A-Base.”
Since I’m a business woman, I’ve long kept a database to track my customers. In business it is also known as a Customer Relationship Manager (CRM). I’ve adapted my business one to my dating life.
In my Date-A-Base, I keep track of the man’s name, email, phone numbers, address, and picture. I copy his online profile into the electronic file. And I update it after we talk and I learn important things. This prevents me from asking again where he grew up, his family details, kids’ names and ages, alma mater, favorite hobbies, food, books, movies, etc. I review my notes before we I know we’ll be talking again.
I start a database file as soon as we get away from email to the phone. I enter as much info as I have at the moment and add to it.
When you have several people you’re contacting, it takes some organization to keep them all straight. Some people use a spread sheet to track their potential dates before meeting. My friend George, also a businessman/salesman, even had a pre-date spread sheet to track info on each woman with whom he was communicating. His was similar to how he’d track his prospects and customers. He’d log where she lived, if she was divorced or separated, how many kids and their ages, who initiated contact and when, and when they’d talked by phone. He’d enter her screen name, height and age, general looks (based on her picture) and “overall plus/minus” comments.
Other people say they use index cards to keep people’s details straight. Others just print out the profile and make needed notes on it. I’m a tech-savvy gal so prefer the electronic version.
Some of my dating friends have taken this tracking spread sheet to the next level. They have a number of categories across the top (looks, energy, intelligence, humor, etc.) and their dates’ name down the side. They then assign a number from 1-10 for each of the characteristics for that person. It seems cold, doesn’t it? But we all do that to some degree or another, just not so methodically. Then they can analytically decide if they want to continue seeing the person. I trust my gut more than my head, so this method wouldn’t work for me.
The important point is do something to keep everyone sorted out. It’s embarrassing to say, “Will you be seeing your parents for the holidays?” when his parents are deceased. Or, “I hope Stanford whops CAL” when he’s a Berkeley alumnus.
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Comments
6 responses to “Your Date-A-Base — tracking multiple suitors”
Excellent. I will add this link to our Resource centre website – you’ve done a great job.
excellent blog
[…] two guys concurrently, I’ll make a note about this information in each man’s file in my Date-A-Base. (It’s too much to remember about multiple […]
[…] always the question of “How do you keep them all straight?” It is easy with my Date-A-Base). One friend tracks those in his pipeline through a spreadsheet. Whatever you do, keep some notes, […]
Would you consider posting an example of what a date-a-base looks like? Perhaps a “dummy” spreadsheet to give us visual learners of how we might set up our own date-a-base?
I love your blog!
Beckie:
It’s really pretty simple stuff — even Outlook would do. I log the info i have — name, city, phone #, height, age, etc. Then in the notes section I write what I learn about him — where he works, went to school, children, parents living (and if so where).
I’m glad you love my blog! 🙂