Beware the massage seduction

Sometimes when a man wants to get closer physically, he’ll offer you a shoulder or back massage, or he’ll just start kneading your shoulders. If you respond positively, he’ll continue.

Watch out for this ploy. This happens so often, I’d swear it is taught in a “how to seduce women” class. So catch on quickly. It is often a way to get you to undress or into bed. Here’s how it goes.

Him: You seem tense. Would you like a shoulder massage?

You: Yes, thank you. That would be great. I do feel stressed.

Him: (Massaging your shoulders) Your shoulders do seem tight. I can feel knots.

You: (Closing your eyes) That feels so good. Ummm.

Him: (Working down your back). Good. I can feel knots down here too. Can I unhook your bra to get under the strap?

You: Sure.

Him: (After a few minutes he pulls your top out of your pants and massages your back directly) How’s this?

You: Great. You have good hands.

Him: Why don’t you lie on the couch (or floor or bed) so I can have better leverage.

You: (Complying) Okay.

Him: (After a few minutes) You know, I could do a better job if I didn’t have to wrestle with your blouse. Can you take it off?

You: (Trustingly) Sure.

That’s the beginning of the end. Soon he begins kissing your shoulders and back, massaging your butt and legs, then under your pants, then he takes those off too. You’re now deeper than you imagined, all from the naiveté thatfrog in hot water a shoulder massage will be just that. Just as the frog got cooked by small increments in the slowly boiling water, you have gotten yourself in hot water by trusting and not saying no to any of the small steps. If you don’t say “no” or “stop” along the way, you are allowing yourself to be seduced a bit at a time.

If you want to be seduced, fine. but if you didn’t think, “I’d love to make love with Mr. X” you’ll find yourself doing more than you’d planned. Just be forewarned so you know the signs along the way and say “stop” any time you don’t want to go forward.

Technorati Tags:, , , , , ,

Got a dating-after-40 topic you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to







4 responses to “Beware the massage seduction”

  1. Bruce Daley Avatar

    I first tried that in High School. Its nice to hear the old classics still work!

  2. Liz Avatar

    I can’t imagine that any grown woman would fall for this! Like Bruce said, this is something that we learn about by the time we’re through with high school.

  3. Bruce Daley Avatar

    Thanks Liz! As I have gotten older I have found the best way to seduce a woman is to offer to marry her, buy her a house, and put her kids though college.

  4. Liz Avatar

    Bruce, There is a word for people who perform sex acts with other people for payment. I think you know that word. What kind of women have you been seducing?!