Category: Multidating responsibly

  • Back burner beaus

    Dating Goddess reader Dale wrote: I recently jointly decided to be exclusive with a man I’ve been dating for a little while. However, I’d been multi-dating and although I’ve told the others I’m going to focus on one man right now, several are interested in my letting them know if it doesn’t work out. How […]

  • Are you expecting a wild horse to act tame?

    DG reader Terri writes: The middle-aged man I’ve been seeing for a few months is Mr. Spontaneity. He rarely plans anything in his life more than a day in advance, including our getting together. Last week he called me as he was leaving his house — 45-minutes away — and asked if I would have […]

  • My boyfriend, whom I haven’t met

    A man has been wooing me the last 6 weeks, first via email while I was abroad, then during daily phone calls, emails and/or text messages. We haven’t met, however, because 3 days after I returned home, he was called to his dying mother’s side 2000 miles away. While the doctors told him she only […]

  • Review of “The Four Man Plan: A Romantic Science”

    Cindy Lu has written a funny — albeit gutter-language-laden — book about systematically classifying the men you date. So if you don’t like to read language you’d hear in most comedy clubs, you’d best pass on this one. She is an actress and stand-up comedian, which is where this book got its start. She lays […]

  • Beware of multitasking when multidating

    When friends learn I have sometimes dated multiple men simultaneously, they ask how I am able to do so. Logistically, I keep notes in my Date-A-Base, logging facts like children (names, ages, locations), parents (living or not, location), marriage/LTRs (how long, how long ago), where he grew up, went to school, or important jobs or […]

  • Advice from sister-surrogate sages

    Having lunch with two friends, both 16 years my senior, we were discussing relationships. They asked about my love life, always wanting an update on the soap opera of my dating situation. One had been married nearly 50 years, the other was a divorcée from a 30-year marriage. I often bounced my relationship dilemmas off […]

  • How long do you hedge your bet?

    You’ve been seeing someone casually, once a week for a month. You like him, he seems to like you as he keeps asking you to lunch, and ending each encounter with a passionate kiss. He calls you a few times a week and engages in an IM chat at least once a day. You’re not […]

  • Care of newbie daters

    Many midlife daters reenter the dating scene after a long absence. If they aren’t a long-time single, they are available again because of divorce or death of their spouse. At this age, many are sensitive to fading looks and possibly squishy bodies, even though others are buffer and more attractive than ever before. Midlifers are […]

  • Are you his spare?

    For a few weeks a gal pal was exchanging flirty emails multiple times a day with a an online match. He then suggested they have dinner and she countered that she was more comfortable with lunch. They continued their multiple-per-day email flirting a few more weeks, but he never again brought up getting together. She […]

  • Phone number screens dating callers for you

    My friend Doug alerted me to a new service he thought would be perfect for daters (no, he’s not representing the company). It’s called It allows you to have a free phone number in any area code you want. You can give it to guys you meet online or in person and there’s no […]

  • “Date #75 requests permission to land”

    Passing the airport the other day, my friend Ken noticed the many planes lined up for miles awaiting their turn to approach the runway. He said he immediately thought of my always having an endless stream of potential suitors lined up in various stages of “landing” a date with me. It’s true that I am […]