Chemistry is often listed as what one wants in a relationship. However no one can seem to describe what that is. They will just “know it when they feel it.”
It is attraction. For men it seems to be “I want to be intimate with this person.” For women, it can be “I feel great around him. He makes me laugh, treats me the way I want to be treated, and seems to care about me.” Women want to spend more time with the man. Men at least want to spend the night with the woman! And sometimes the same is true for the woman.
Since “chemistry” is nebulous and overused, I prefer the phrase “made my toes curl.” Admittedly, it hasn’t happened much, but when it does, you definitely know there is a connection.
However, I’ve found that sometimes the connection is just physical, and you can quickly be drawn into thinking that there is more. But after the physical is satisfied, you realize you don’t have much connection with this person. So consider that if there is real chemistry and connection, it will still be there in a few weeks, when by that time the lust may have passed.
After one date, a gentleman asked if I wanted to go out again. I said he was a great guy, but my toes didn’t curl. While disappointed, he knew exactly what I meant.
DO you really dump a guy if he doesn’t make your toes curl after one date? Hasn’t it ever happened to you that you meet someone and he is so-so, but after a while and getting to know him beter he DOES start to make your tos curl? I know that has happened to me and those types of attraction are usually stronger and more enduring than immediate physical attraction.
I usually know if I want to see someone again if I feel like I can see myself having sex with the,m, if teh thought even enters my mind within three dates. I listen for clues to their personality that would make them compatible with me. If teh guy is totally hot but boring, he will never “make my tos curl.”
Yes, you’re right. He doesn’t have to make your toes curl in the first date. I now decide based on this simple criteria: Do I like his company? Do I want to spend more time with him? And if I hear myself thinking, “I want him to kiss me” that is a bonus!