Category: Dating chemistry

  • Relationship’s fate turns on a single response

    Our relationship hung on my response to one question in an IM. Depending on how I responded, I would either end the highly passionate but sometimes frustrating relationship or would save it from sudden death and allow us to continue to explore our connection. It reminded me of the movie “Sliding Doors,” staring Gwyneth Paltrow. […]

  • Sometimes it’s about you; sometimes it’s not

    In dating, it’s easy to take things personally if there are problems or hiccups. Sometimes the guy you’re seeing does or says something that is a reflection of his attitude toward you, and you take offense. But often his behavior has nothing to do with you. It’s harder to realize this when he attributes positive […]

  • Truth in dating

    If you’ve dated more than a few men who you learned didn’t exactly live up to the hype they promised, you’ll appreciate this video. It’s a fun parody of the hip-hop love songs extolling the guy’s sexual prowess. But what if one were to be this honest when dating? Admitting one’s inexperience, ineptitude and insecurities […]

  • Clothes make the man

    Nearly eighteen months ago a man sent me an email on a dating site where I wasn’t a member. Although he was in the right geographic, age and height range, his pictures showed an unsmiling, sunglasses-wearing, goatee-sporting man in a sports-team T-shirt holding up a newspaper with an unreadable headline. Huh? This is the best […]

  • Assuming privileges

    When you talk to a potential suitor regularly for more than a few weeks before meeting, a false sense of intimacy can develop. In flirty or soul-baring emails and/or phone conversations, you can begin to feel a budding emotional connection to the other. Then when you do meet, there is an odd closeness. You feel […]

  • Is he willing to be vulnerable?

    Women typically say they want a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them, and with whom they can be the same. I’ve dated some men for months who never shared a vulnerable thought, even if I asked about his hopes, fears, dreams and regrets. Nothing. So I was pleased that a man I’ve […]

  • My boyfriend, whom I haven’t met

    A man has been wooing me the last 6 weeks, first via email while I was abroad, then during daily phone calls, emails and/or text messages. We haven’t met, however, because 3 days after I returned home, he was called to his dying mother’s side 2000 miles away. While the doctors told him she only […]

  • First-encounter mismatch

    DG reader PC wrote: I enjoy your columns on What do you do if it is obvious in the first 5 minutes that there is not a fit? Do you sludge through the evening or cut your losses early? I don’t mean to be cruel but sometimes it seems to be worse to lead […]

  • Playgirl glory

    It took five months of occasional email exchanges to finally meet. It was worth the wait. Why so long? He had been traveling the world for a non-profit project he founded. He was in the States infrequently during the past year, and even more rarely at his home in my area. As part of getting […]

  • “I’m a nerd!”

    [googmonify]8604416547:left:120:240[/googmonify] So said the professor with a Ph.D. and several masters degrees. My Google search revealed a page (not written by him) that called him “a famed professor” in his area of study. Other sites also lauded him. So I thought perhaps he was being modest when saying he was a nerd as he pursued […]

  • When sexual electricity can scorch you

    His smile ignites you. His touch sends currents up your spine. His kiss jolts you like you’ve been jump-started. We dream — nay, fantasize — about this kind of sexual energy. You are intoxicated by the charged feelings which blow the fuses of any rational thinking. You relish the feeling of the energy coursing through […]