Don’t think you are damaged goods

When you reenter the dating world at middle age, it is easy to focus on what is wrong with you. Your body is not as firm and lithe as it was in your 20’s. You have wrinkles, perhaps some cellulite, maybe some gray hair. You probably don’t have as much energy as you used to, or you have physical limitations due to injuries or parts wearing down. You might have kids living at home and feel few men would want to deal with that.

Men seem to be most concerned about their hair loss. Women seem most concerned about weight gain. I’ve learned that many men are less concerned about a woman’s few extra pounds; women are less concerned about a man’s receding hairline.

You should never feel as if you are damaged goods. If you are having self-doubts, make a list (maybe with the aid of a good friend) of all your positive characteristics. You want to exude confidence (without arrogance) so a man knows he is lucky to spend time with you.

If you feel you could update your image, go to the make up counter at one of the major department stores and have a make over. It’s typically free. Buy some of the make up and wear it when you go out, even to the grocery store! You never know if you’ll run into your next husband in the cat food aisle, as one of my friends did.

Also, Macy’s and Nordstrom have personal shoppers that can help you update your look. There is no cost for the service. Call and make an appointment. Tell her you’re looking for some dating clothes, your size and colors, and when you arrive she will have pulled things for you to try on. I’ve used these services many, many times. You aren’t obligated to buy anything, and she will bring you sales items as well as full-priced ones. She will help put together the whole outfit, including shoes, hose, and accessories so you feel totally pulled together.

If you’re out of shape, start walking even if it’s only 15 minutes a day. It will do wonders for your outlook on life, and will begin to tone things up. If you are more energetic, take an exercise class. It’s amazing how quickly your energy and body can change.

So there is no excuse for you to feel that you are less than stellar. You want to put your best foot forward on each date, so do what you need to do to accomplish that.