I was lamenting — OK, complaining — to a male friend the other day about how men have double standards. They want someone who is “slim, fit, athletic, toned” when they themselves have not seen the inside of a gym or done any physical activity for years. I am always surprised when I meet a man who has described himself as “athletic” or “toned” and he is 40 pounds overweight.
However, he doesn’t want a woman who is overweight. Let me ask you, how many middle-aged people do you know who don’t carry some extra weight? And how many women who have birthed children don’t carry some lingering weight, even if their kids are now adults?
As I ranted, I realized I, too, have double standards. While I have gone with men who were 40, 50, and 100 pounds overweight, I realized I am weightist. I have a second date with a great guy in a few days, but I admit I’m not physically attracted to him. Why? Because he’s 80-100 pounds overweight. He’s charming, educated, accomplished, fun, but I just can’t see myself in a lip-lock with him. I am who I complain about!
The opposite double standards can also apply in that a non-college-educated woman can desire only a college-educated man. Or a woman who doesn’t make a lot of money can want a man who does. Double standards abound. The question for you is “Am I setting a standard I don’t myself match? If so, why?”