Have you watched your sweetie at work?

When a man greets you for the first time with “My, my, my,” you know it’s going to be a good date!

Thus began my dinner date last night with guy #82, who we’ll call Mr. Radio Guy since he is the headliner DJ at a R&B station. Even before meeting him, we clicked with our love of R&B. Our online and voice chats were fun, flirty and interesting. He sent me a recording of him on the air since his station is out of state. He’s moving to my area in a few weeks, and was in town to make final arrangements with his new station.

Yes, he has those dulcet tones we discussed in “Are you drawn to deep-voiced men?” It is fun to re-listen to his recording. I realized very few of us get to experience our sweeties at work, watching them perform their jobs superbly. I will soon have ample opportunity to hear him on the air, as well as watch as he emcees concerts with recording stars (and get back-stage passes, too!).

Men at workThere is something magical about watching — or listening — to someone you are fond of doing a stellar job. My ex was a storyteller, so I regularly watched him perform and beamed as he spun his tales. Then when he became a minister, I enjoyed watching him deliver his sermons (many of which I co-wrote). You see the person in a different light, appreciating a talent you might not have seen before. I delight in watching collegial friends deliver a home-run presentation.

However, when the roles are reversed I find myself a little nervous. When someone I am sweet on sits in my presentation, I’m a tad self-conscious, concerned that he may notice my mistakes. When my ex and I would co-present, we would make notes for each other on what could be improved. While this was helpful, it was also a bit nerve-racking. It was usually easy to identify the things you know you screwed up, and it was hard to hear someone else point them out.

I think one of the keys to having this go well is to make sure you only comment on what you liked, and reserve any suggestions to when — and if — he asks. If he feels you are criticizing him, you’ll never be invited to watch again. So even if you see something egregious, bite your tongue unless he specifically asks for any improvement ideas.

Have you had someone you’re dating experience you at work? Maybe you’ve dated a colleague who attended meetings with you, or a customer? Or have you been able to experience someone you’re dating doing their work? Did that shift your fondness of him?

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6 responses to “Have you watched your sweetie at work?”

  1. Ally Avatar

    Most of the guys who have fallen for me did so because they watched me work. (I’ve studied and worked in engineering, where the ratio of men to women is extremely skewed) And the men I’ve held most dear I was first attracted to by watching the quality of their work. I love a man who’s excellent at what he does, whatever line of work that is.
    That’s about the only nod I’ll give Ayn Rand.

  2. Christine Avatar

    I found the priviledge of observing my man at work very sexy. I loved experiencing an important piece of his life and knowing who he really was at work. It was exciting to see his competence and compassion-it made me proud to be a part of his world. Ah, DG, even though I’ve moved on, I still really miss him……

  3. Joy Avatar

    Same with Christine, I met my ex at work. He is an excellent manager. I abored him, then I fallen for him. It was a wonderful felling. Anyhow, it has been ended forever. Im old now. The time is hard to take. My biggest hope is i can meet some sincere friends with same pain at http://www.seniorwoo.com.

  4. Ellen Avatar

    Weird. I’m also sweet on a radio guy. I definitely had a good feeling about him before I met him, due to not just his voice (which isn’t particularly deep) but his natural style and very dry sense of humor. And yes, he’s really good at it, which is part of the attraction. Oops, what time is is — I think he’s on now!

  5. Rod Avatar

    I fell harder for my sweetie after watching her at work. She worked in a field where I had many years of experience, but she was just beginning after discovering she was gifted in the career. Well, I observed her using years of administrative evaluation skills and easily concluded that not only was she excellent at the job (as confirmed by her peers and her supervisors) but she was absolutely hot when doing it! Pretty hard to resist a woman who is more than competent at everything she does ;-0

  6. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Rod: Where have you been? My ex felt exactly the opposite, as he said he felt “emasculated” by my competencies! You obviously have much higher self-esteem than he did. And it didn’t help that although I am 14 years younger, my career was always more advanced than him.

    I bet your sweetie knows she is very lucky! (Can we still flirt even though you have a sweetie?)