It’s not what you think. Yes, he suggested getting naked, although he didn’t say it that bluntly.
We had a first date three weeks ago. We had talked on the phone once a week for a month, but then we both had foreign travel and we couldn’t meet before then. We met for lunch and didn’t run out of interesting things to discuss.
Afterward, he left for another 2-week trip, arriving home yesterday and called today. At the end of the hour-long chat he suggested we get together in two weeks when he returns from his next trip. His proposal? We soak in a special enzyme tub for two at his favorite spa, then dinner afterwards.
Hmm. Getting naked on the second date? I don’t know.
I know that one can wear a bathing suit even in a private spa tub, but it seems a bit prudish. But then getting naked with a man — even knowing sex is not expected nor implied — seems rushing things a bit. There would be no hanky panky, as an attendant would be regularly bringing us a special tea and cold compresses for our foreheads.
If this were Europe, it would be no big deal for most people. But many Americans, including me, are a tad modest at first.
Is this a test to see where I am on the naturalist/prude continuum? An opportunity for him to check out the “goods” before becoming too involved? I don’t know. In the hours we’ve spent on the phone he’s never been inappropriate, suggestive, or even flirty. In fact, during lunch I wasn’t sure if he’d contact me again because there was no flirtation on his part. So he’s not being a letch — I don’t think — by suggesting a couple’s soak.
This has taken me by surprise, as I’ve not had anyone else suggest an activity so, well, intimate, so early in the dating cycle. Before I agree to any part of his invitation, I will tell him I’m a bit uncomfortable with this activity so early in our getting to know each other. I’ll suggest that we either have separate soaks, or just skip the spa this time and do something else together that entails keeping our clothes on.
Have you received an invitation for something a bit too intimate for your comfort level in the early stages of getting to know a man? If so, how did you deal with it?
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