One of you has called it quits. If it is him, you may harbor lingering hopes he’ll IM, text, email or call you. This delusion may last days, weeks, months, or even years. Even if you pulled the plug, you may secretly hope he’ll see the error of his ways and apologetically come back. So you keep his lines of contact open.
When you’re clear you’re done, however, you delete his roads to your heart. Depending on his preferred methods of communication, you begin to sever the ties.
- You delete him from your IM Buddy list and block contact.
- You remove him first from your speed dial, then from your cell phone list altogether.
- You erase any pictures of him on your cell phone.
- You take him off your email contact list.
- You may set up his email to go on your “bozo” list, automatically putting any future emails in your trash.
- If you found him on an online site, you remove him from your favorites, then block him from contacting you through the site.
- You put or throw away any snapshots you have of him.
- As discussed in “It’s moving day,” you give away any items he gave you that you don’t really want.
- If you have any of his belongings, you arrange to return them through a friend or mail, or donate them to charity.
You feel no sadness, remorse or delight when you take these actions. You are merely removing someone from your life with whom you desire no further contact. You don’t wish to be reminded of him, so don’t want to stumble upon his name in your address book or picture on your screen saver.
You’re creating space for someone wonderful to enter your life. The more you are surrounded by reminders of people who elicit hurt or sad feelings, the less space you have in your psyche for positive, loving feelings, which any new guy will pick up.
So know by cleaning out reminders of love gone awry you are making space for a wonderful new love.
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