It’s raining men!


“Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home. I’m tired.” —Mae West

One of the beauties of online dating is it seems there is a never-ending supply of suitors. At least that’s my experience. And I have pretty stringent criteria for my matches. Yes, I get 10 times more guys winking and emailing who don’t come close to matching my criteria. But it seems that weekly I get a few who meet enough criteria to respond to their inquiry.

It is fun to meet new guys, although it can be time consuming, and if you let it, frustrating. Once I had 7 dates with 6 guys in 5 days. It is exhilarating to feel desirable, yet as I’ve become more experienced, I’ve become more discerning. Now I see two to four new guys a month, rather than a week.

The downside to this abundance, in addition to the time to correspond, talk on the phone and meet, is that there’s a sense that there is someone better just a mouse click away. If you are not desperate for a relationship, it is easy to reject every one, focusing on a fatal flaw. However, once in a while, when a guy seems to scratch a particular itch I’m feeling, I’ll hang out with him for a while, until one of us realizes we aren’t a good long-term match and it isn’t fair to the other to continue as if we were.

So while abundance is a positive thing, when you find someone you click with, try to stay present to his good qualities, rather than thinking “Who else is online?” When I can see that my current beau has been online within 24 hours of my being on the site, I know he doesn’t think we’re long-term either, even if neither of us says it.

So when it’s raining men, come into the shelter of one guy and dry off for a while and see how it feels. Who knows, you might just get an umbrella to fend off other potential suitors — at least for a while.

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