I love R&B music. It is romantic, sexy, vulnerable and has a danceable beat. So it is icing on the cake that Radio Guy, the newest guy in my life, is a R&B disc jockey. In addition to having a melodious voice, his words and actions reflect the R&B he’s listened to five hours a day for 30 years. Did he have these sensibilities before and chose a job that reflected his perspective on life? Or did the music help shape his point of view?
In “How does music affect your dating?” I pondered how our music druthers affect our love preferences. The male R&B singers seem to have no problem expressing their feelings — love, adoration, attraction. Much more so than men I’ve met in real life. Is it because they are more poetic than regular guys, or is it just they know what sells?
Radio Guy has no problem expressing his feelings, even when they aren’t macho. He’s shared grief at a close aunt’s recent passing, his compassion for her only surviving son’s sorrow, his exhilaration at a new job offer, and — my favorite — his feelings toward me. He’s able to share what’s going on with him authentically, in a way that most men I’ve known less than a week would have difficulty.
So far, it feels like I’m living in a R&B song. He tells me what he likes and admires about me and how much he wants to have it work out with us. Luckily, he doesn’t recite lyrics from songs as come on lines. He treats me tenderly in person and on the phone. It makes it easy for me to tell him what I like about him.
In contrast, I dated a man who was so guarded I wondered why he continued to ask me out. On date five (four were low-key dinner-and-DVD dates), he made a comment about how he was “pursuing” me. I was taken aback, and said, “You’re pursuing me?” I had no idea, since he wasn’t affectionate verbally or physically. I thought he enjoyed my company so liked to hang out with me, but he never complimented me or made any wooing gestures.
Are you drawn to men who express their feelings? I find it compelling, as you don’t have to guess where he stands. Granted, someone could lie and use well-rehearsed lines. But those guys are pretty easy to spot.
And who knows, if Radio Guy goes poof I may switch over to Country where the songs are a bit more about disappointments and love lost.
Technorati Tags: dating Internet, dating online, senior dating, bbw dating, mature dating, dating over 50, dating over 40, online dating advice, dating after 40, dating after 50, over 40 dating, 40+ dating, dating after forty