Review of “Motivated to Marry”

Many DG readers have shared that they are frustrated by men who do not seem to want a long-term relationship. They wish they could tell ahead of time if a man is telling the truth about wanting to be in a committed relationship, or is just using that as a line to woo her.

Motivated to MarryMotivated to Marry, Amy Schoen’s $24.95, 40-page paperback book, has some mostly already-heard advice. The book is written for people who want to get married and perhaps have children. So a good deal of her advice is for the under-45 crowd.

She covers typical dating book fare:

  • Preparing for Motivated To Marry Dating
  • Be Your Authentic Self
  • Your Internal Roadblocks
  • Your External Roadblocks
  • Attracting the Right Relationship with Confidence
  • First Impressions Count
  • Where to Meet Your Motivated to Marry™ Mate
  • The Real Scoop on Internet Dating
  • Success on a First Date: A Tips List
  • Why People Date and How to Detect Their Real Reasons
  • Characteristics of a Motivated to Marry™ Dater
  • People Date People They Trust
  • When to Bring Up The M Word
  • Ways to Express Caring and “Strong Like”
  • Is This The Right One?
  • Qualities of a Motivated to Marry™ Mate
  • How Your Age Affects Your Marriage Time Table

On page 23 she has a checklist for how to tell if your dating partner is really relationship minded or not.

Amy is a dating coach. I met her briefly at a professional conference, but can’t vouch for her coaching expertise.

Technorati Tags:,,,,,,,, , , , ,

Got a topic on dating after 40 you want Dating Goddess to address? Send your issue to






5 responses to “Review of “Motivated to Marry””

  1. Bookyone Avatar

    Hi DG,

    Thanks for sharing this info.. I have read a lot of dating and marriage advice books and most seem to repeat the same tired old saws over and over ad nauseum: “go where the guys are,” “be friendly but not too eager,” “be yourself but don’t reveal too much of yourself,” it gets to be wearisome after a while and smacks too much of game playing to me. Also, I don’t know about anyone else, but $24.95 seems like a lot to spend on a 40 page book, at least to me it does. Of course I don’t have much discretionary income – working in the education field has its rewards, but, unfortunately, earning a living wage isn’t one of them.

    I’ll wait for your book to come out, IMHO that will be a better use of my money. 🙂

    Best wishes from bookyone 🙂

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    You are very sweet! And I’ll autograph it to you when it’s in print! And for anyone else who wants an autographed copy, will be happy to — either for you or for your friends.

    I’m feeling a bit like getting a publisher for this is like dating! My agent (my yenta?) has sent it to 6 top NYC agents. One immediately declined since they have a similar book (how could anything be similar????) coming out in ’08. Three said they’d immediately read the proposal. We’ve now heard “noes” from 4 of the six and are awaiting word from the final (in this batch) two. So far, the declines have liked the writing and concept, but don’t think there’s a market. I wanted to have you all write to them telling them why you read DG’s musings regularly so they’d know there was a market!

    I have other editors and avenues to explore, but will wait to see what the other two say.

  3. Jen was here Avatar

    The best way to tell if a guy wants a relationship is to put in your profile that your not going to have sex until your married, that you have made this vow to yourself. Also dont put up revealing photos (ie clevage, short skirts) Try to look good but not like your a wild sex machine. Then the guys that do respond to your profile would be more of the kind of guys you want.
    Just my .02
    Cant wait to read the book.

  4. Bookyone Avatar

    Hi DG,

    I’d be happy to put in a good word for you if you thought it would help, just let me know.

    Just think, when you’re rich and famous, we’ll all be able to say we knew you when… 🙂

    Best wishes from bookyone 🙂

  5. Marina Avatar

    You know, after two failed marraiges I’m not sure I want to marry anymore.

    When I was young all I wanted was to find Mr. Right, get married, have a family, and live a happy life. My parents were married for fifty years, as were my grandparents. I came from a family where marraige and family were highly valued. But I came of age in the ’70’s, and all I ever got was, “I don’t want to make a committemnt.” Translation, “Gee, someone better might come along, and I don’t want to be stuck with you.”

    Thirty years later I think the baby-boomer men are still as selfish as ever. I didn’t find my first husband until I was in my late 30’s. He turned out to be an abuser, so it didn’t last. I met my second husband when I was in my mid-forties. At long last, I thought I had truly found my soul-mate. But he turned out of be a fraud. To him, marraige wasn’t a life-time commitment. Once the novelty wore off he got bored. He can’t understand why I’m so upset! And so what if he had a mistress? He thinks adultery is an outdated concept.

    So here I am at fifty, finallly realizing the one thing I wanted the most in life, a man I could love and who would love me back, is the one thing I will probably never have! I just don’t trust men anymore, and I prefer my own company.