Tag: Dating after 40

With apologies to Queen (but without the violence of their song), I share that another one bites the dust. Number 102. The result of my latest foray into Match.com.

After one has been dating for a while, the excitement and novelty of meeting new people wears off. Couple that with too many one-time-only encounters, and you become more guarded with your time and emotions. At least I know this is true for me, and I’m guessing it is for others who have been searching…

It’s Never Too Late to Date: Shirley and Howard’s Rx’s For Dating and Mating After 50 by Shirley Friedenthal and Howard Eisenberg This is a good primer for women in their “golden years” (the author’s words) who haven’t dated in 30 or 40 years — or perhaps ever. If the readers are like my mother,…

At some point in dating you have, no doubt, encountered jerks, players, and self-absorbed individuals. Perhaps you labeled some narcissists. But have you ever encountered someone you’d deem a psychopath? In researching a relative’s extreme personality disorder, I decided to read Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work to determine how to best respond…

Midlife daters have admitted to me that they don’t know how to flirt anymore. Some even say they never knew how. Now that they are single in midlife, they are feeling they need — and want — to learn. But how does one practice? Chatting up strangers in the grocery store? Smiling and winking at…

There are various types of “buddies” in dating. Some you’re good with; others you’re not. You don’t really want a  no-strings-attached sex-only relationship. You want some strings if you are going to get intimate — at least some interest in exploring if you both want there to be strings, not just “That was fun. See…

I’m struck that many men’s online profiles say they want a spontaneous woman. It’s made me look at my own level of spontaneity. My experience of spontaneity is that someone else (a friend or suitor) calls or shows up and says, “Hey, I’m on my way to XXX. Wanna come?”

The attractive mature woman approached me after my talk on dating after 40. She said she admired my courage to take on dating so enthusiastically, but she was afraid to start dating. I asked what her fear was.

What determines if you are an item? Is it agreement about exclusivity? Is it the fact that neither of you is interested in seeing others? You may think that his regular calls, texts and weekly dates makes him your beau. He may think that you are just one of the women he is seeing, even…

You’ve struck up a nice communication with a man who seems to fit many of your criteria. He’s smart, educated, polite, funny, well traveled, successful and clearly interested in you and your life. His age, height, and economics are in the right range for you. You’ve talked on the phone several times and you’ve had…

I’m an equal-opportunity dater. I’ve gone out with Caucasian, Black, Latino, Asian, Indian, Native American and mixed-race men. Although it doesn’t always come up, I know some have been Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, agnostic and atheist. None of these on their own are deal makers or deal breakers. My interest or disinterest depends on…