Walking over hot coals

When we say or hear, “I’d walk over hot coals to…” it shows unwavering commitment. Most of us would love it if a man said he’d walk over hot coals for our kiss!

Well, I’ve walked over a bed of hot coals — but it wasn’t for a man. It was for me. I wasn’t forced to do it. I did it to explode my self-imposed limits. And by doing so, it helped me become the person who can date with enthusiasm, less fear and who my next mate will find irresistible.

When I met my ex I was 28. When we married I was 30. We often talked about how if we’d met 5 years earlier, neither of us would be the person the other would find attractive on an emotional and spiritual level. We hadn’t yet grown into the individuals the other would fall in love with. We had baggage to jettison, anger to release, hearts to open. The five years before we met we each grew so we were ready when we did meet.

When I enrolled in the fire-walking seminar, I knew no one would force me to walk over 12 feet of red-hot coals. Before the seminar, I convinced myself that I was enough of a risk taker that I didn’t really have to walk on the coals. Up to moments before, I was sure I wouldn’t do it. But I had an epiphany that if I didn’t walk the coals, I’d be missing an opportunity to break through some limiting beliefs. With coaching from the staff, I safely walked. The exuberance I felt on the other side was something I’ve rarely experienced.

When I became single, I knew no one would force me to walk into the dating world, rife with potential heart break and pain. I was afraid to get started. A few dating friends gave me some tips, but my friend Caterina Rando convinced me to start walking the dating path by posting a profile. I had to face my fears with every early potential suitors’ email, phone call and initial coffee date. The first time there was a mutual attraction, I was elated.

Are you the person your ideal mate would want to date? Have you worked through any anger, hurt or bitterness from past relationships? Have you resolved any issues around fear of intimacy and trust? Are you convinced you’re a woman your man would be thrilled to meet, date and fall for?

Is there anything you need to work through so your heart will be open to your man? Are you willing to walk over your equivalent of hot coals to get to the you that you love without reservation so he will too? If not, what do you need to do to lose your own baggage?

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