His French accent was fetching. He laughed immediately which was disarming. We chatted on the phone about life for 20 minutes.
He’d said in his dating site profile that he didn’t do coffee dates. I asked him how he met woman initially if he didn’t meet for coffee. He said he met them for sex.
“What?” I asked incredulously, thinking I must have misheard him through his French accent. He repeated himself. I hadn’t misheard.
“You meet women initially for a sex date?” I was too shocked to say anything more intelligent.
“And women do that?”
“Absolutely. It’s how we get to know each other.”
“Well, then we won’t be meeting.”
“Because I don’t have sex with a man I’ve just met.”
“Because I need to have an emotional connection and trust. That takes time. It doesn’t happen on the first date.”
“So how has it worked for you to wait? Have those relationships worked out?”
He got me. We wouldn’t be talking if any of my relationships had worked out longer than a few months.
“So waiting doesn’t really work, does it?”
“Well, I haven’t figured out what works. But I know having sex on the first date doesn’t work. So it looks like we’re at an impasse. You’re unwilling to have a non-sex first meeting and I’m unwilling to have a sexual first meeting.” And so we said goodbye.
This technique obviously works for this man, at least sometimes, or he wouldn’t pursue this approach. I wonder how many women would fall for this line of reasoning.
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