One of the things that has stood out for me in interactions with the last four potential suitors is that guys (at least the ones I've encountered) don't know how to make conversation. I'm not just talking chit chat, but any kind of give and take.
And that is precisely what is missing — give and take. The men I've talked to recently seem to be missing the how-to-ask-questions gene. While I admit that since I am curious about a lot of things, questions come to me easily. In fact, I've learned to interject comments, stories and tidbits into the conversation lest my potential suitor think he's being interrogated. But most of them don't know how to piggy back on my comments to draw me out or to continue the discussion. They merely turn it back on themselves or talk about what interests them.
Last night I had a dinner date with a man who had done a good job of sharing the initial phone conversation. However, at dinner he did 80% of the talking. When I would interject, my comments just sat there — he didn't ask me anything further. Perhaps my perspective and life weren't interesting to him. That's certainly a possibility. However, many strangers on planes seem more interested in my life than some of the guys I've spoken to!
Are they shy? Nervous? Wanting to tell me everything possible in the first interaction? It would be more engaging if they worked to share the air time. They'd have more luck getting second dates — or even first ones — if they were more conscientious about how they converse in the first conversation.
Hi, I was blog surfing and I read some of your blog. I got divorced after 23 years of marriage. I met my now husband when I hired his son to work for me. He asked me “Do you want to go out to dinner with my dad, he’s a widower?” Here I am and we’ve been married 4 years. Good luck with the dating thing.