I have a “sensitive” stomach. It helps me date better.
Why?
It’s probably not what you think. It has more to do with men and less to do with food.
Having a delicate digestion makes me think through what I eat before I eat it. While I love the taste of fried foods, sausage and spicy dishes, I don’t love how they make me feel afterward. Within minutes of eating this flavorful fare, my stomach is uncomfortable, sometimes to the point of queasiness, nausea — or worse.
I’ve learned not to eat foods that are tasty but come back to haunt me.
I bet you’re ahead of me on how this makes me date better.
When I’ve encountered an initially delicious guy — good looking, interesting conversation, sexy — I’ve been seduced into partaking in his temptations too soon. This may mean kissing earlier than usual, falling under his spell and getting attached too early, or doing things that feel good in the moment. But nearly always there is a price to pay — often pretty quickly.
His lip-smacking scrumptiousness comes back on me and makes me feel bad. I’ve indulged in something that felt good in the moment but quickly turned to an unhealthy aftermath — usually emotional, but sometimes coupled with physical maladies (upset stomach, crying, tight muscles from stress over him).
Now I’ve learned to put the brakes on and ask myself, “How will I feel about myself afterward? Will I feel better or worse?” More often than not, this allows me the distance to admit, “worse” and hold off on what I think will be so luscious now. There may be great evidence that it will be delectable. But if I wait until I’m more certain that all the ingredients are there to make it exquisite, I will have fewer experiences of heart burn and heartache.
You may say, “We aren’t getting any younger. These mouthwatering opportunities are few and far between. Go for it! Seize the day!” Yes, there is that attitude. But my experience is there’s always another opportunity to have something succulent that doesn’t end up leaving your stomach and heart in a knot. Being willing to check on what your body and heart want is a step toward getting it long term and rejecting quick hedonistic urges that leave you feeling lousy afterwards.
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If you’d like more information on how to be clear on what you want, download your copy of Assessing Your Assets: Why You’re A Great Catch now!
Comments
2 responses to “A sensitive stomach can help you date better”
I read this entry and it was so timely as I’d just met a man with whom I feel big chemistry, and that is rare for me to feel. Yet, I don’t necessarily understand things he says. So I’m going there’s my body to feed, and my soul/heart to feed. What do I do? My friend advised me to hold off on sex as it causes pain afterwards if the other emotional needs aren’t met. Of course, she is married and has sex regularly….what do I do? I don’t know but your piece reminded me of how much emotional turmoil a causal physical encounter can cause and whether it is worth it – something we each have to gauge for ourselves, but there are times when the body yells “my turn!” and it can be hard to ignore. Only once in my life have I truly been able to have a casual physical encounter and walk away without thinking about it again – but only because I was working so hard and crazy hours that I really didn’t have time to think, and can’t say that is a good thing.
Toni: You have to make your decision based on knowing yourself and how you’ll feel afterward. If you know that generally you feel worse after having sex with someone to whom you’re not emotionally connected, then don’t do it. Some women can have a fling and move on without a second’s looking back. But it doesn’t appear that is you since you’ve only had one instance of that.
So while your body aches for intimacy, really examine what you’re craving. Is it touch? Then get a massage. There are other ways to get your physical needs met without risking the emotional turmoil that happens for many of us after a fling.