FollowYesterday I had a first phone call with a potential date. While his profile was refreshing and intriguing, the conversation was strained. I tried to pull him out by asking questions related to his profile comments. Although he’d initiated contact with me within 24 hours of the call, he asked me nothing about my profile comments, and only asked me one question. He suggested coffee, but I begged off as I didn’t feel drawn to invest an hour or two to meet.
However, today, I had a long conversation with another gentleman. We talked about important lessons from relationships and what we are each looking for. He asked incisive questions and shared his experiences. Soon an hour had whizzed by. We set a dinner date for later this week.
What was the difference? It should be pretty clear from the above. The first guy didn’t make it easy to converse. He didn’t ask me but one question, so I felt like it was a “blind” call even though he’d make the initial contact. The second one asked important questions and shared his perspective, even when it wasn’t the same as mine. The second one won the date!
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One response to “A tale of two phone calls”
[…] Calls. If the first call is strained and he doesn’t know how to have a two-way conversation, I pass on a face-to-face. (See my posting about calls.) If he dominates the conversation, I know it doesn’t matter if I show up or not, as he’s not interested in learning about me. If he’s argumentative or condescending, bye bye birdie. If he asks questions like one guy did, “At what point would you feel comfortable getting intimate? The first date?” “No.” “The second date?” “No.” “The third date?” “Probably not,” he’s history. If he only talks about things you have no interest in and you can’t find some common interest areas, sayonara. […]