Ambivalence is the bane of the dating world. I’ve had plenty of pleasant dates with guys who were smart, educated, successful, attractive yet I felt if I saw him again, fine; if not, fine. I debated with myself whether I’d accept a second date or not.

On the one hand, there was nothing odious or off-putting, so why not spend a little more time together and see if a spark gets lit? We can all have off days, so why not take the risk of investing a little more time? If nothing develops after the second date, time to cut each other lose and move on.

On the other hand, if I didn’t find him scintillating in our first encounter, why waste both our time? You have plenty of other things on your calendar, so investing a little more time means you’d have to give up something else.

What to do?

Two options come to mind. 1) You can invest a little more time on the phone and see if you’re drawn to get together. Or 2), you could get together for coffee or something with a short time investment. If no spark, then move on. But maybe by giving him a second chance, the spark will be kindled.