An excuse to seduce or how important is sexual compatibility?

Really the question is, how important is finding out if you’re sexual compatible early in a relationship?

A guy pal told me his sister began dating a guy. She told her guy she’d decided to wait six months before having sex, because in the past she’d fallen into bed with men too early and then the relationship didn’t work out. She wanted to make sure that her next relationship was on solid ground before making love. Waiting six months would ensure they had a strong foundation.

When the six-month mark approached, they arranged a romantic weekend getaway. The scene was set. They were both giddy with anticipation. However, after the big event, she was disappointed. They didn’t click between the sheets. She told her brother she had to break up with her beau, as he didn’t do it for her.

Another woman shared she’d broken up with her boyfriend because he didn’t satisfy her in the bedroom. She tried to explain what she liked, but he either didn’t listen or didn’t comply.

So my guy pal has decided it’s important to find out if there is bedroom bliss soon in the relationship. If not, he feels it’s best to move on. I don’t know if this is just his excuse to seduce a woman early on, but the way he explained it, it made perfect sense.

After a 20+-year “unsatisfying” marriage, a divorced woman friend says it’s important to find out if a new guy’s able to give her horizontal happiness before investing too much time in him.

However, what all these folks are missing, I think, is that sexual compatibility can take some time creating. Everyone has a different idea of what floats their boat, and feeling comfortable explaining that takes trust. And trust often takes time.

Bottom line: If it isn’t great the first time, talk about what you want and try a few more times. If it isn’t happening for you then, there’s a breakdown that may not be able to be fixed.

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2 responses to “An excuse to seduce or how important is sexual compatibility?”

  1. […] want to be in the sack with someone early on to see if there is sexual compatibility. (See “An excuse to seduce.”) While I think this is important, I believe it is more important to have overall […]

  2. hunter Avatar

    Only one comment on here! It is a sensitive, yet, very important topic.

    I can relate to the post, about, a partner(with two previous husbands), yet, her horizontal maneuvers, were in need of fine tuning. I tried to teach, but, to no avail. It seems as if, maybe, at midlife, we are set in our ways…….