So you’ve been unlucky in love. You think maybe this St. Patrick’s Day the luck of the Irish will rub off on you. But you’re not really interested in getting “lucky” with a one-night stand. You’d like more. You’d like a long-term relationship. So how do you begin?
- Get out your lucky charm — you! Before you join a bunch of online dating sites, first get on your dating attitude. You’ve heard the tired — yet apt — advice to assess your positive qualities. This will help boost your confidence as, yes, it does take courage to date. There is a lot of rejection in dating so you’ve got to build up your rejection muscle. Most people are kind about telling you when they (you) aren’t a match, but a few aren’t. Don’t let it get to you. Just say, “Next!”
- Dance a jig — or salsa. A great way to meet new people is at a singles dance. Do a Google search by “singles dance” with your zip code and see what comes up. Usually people are friendly and many singles dances encourage people to mix it up and dance with multiple partners.
Look at each encounter as a pot of gold. There is treasure in everyone if you are willing to look. Not all your dates will result in a second date, but most people have something valuable inside and it will be a rewarding experience to meet them. However, if you want to keep at a minimum having to dig for relationship riches, screen potential suitors ahead of time through email and the phone. Converse several times before agreeing to even coffee. You don’t want to waste either of your time if you know there isn’t the possibility of a fit.
Start with coffee — but not an Irish one. When alcohol enters the picture, judgment can be impaired. An Albert Finney look-alike starts resembling Colin Farrell the more you drink. So start with a short (hour or less) coffee date when you are clear headed and can rationally assess whether he’s someone with whom you want to spend more time.- Watch out for the Blarney. Some people have dated a lot and are as smooth as Bailey’s Irish Cream. So watch if someone comes on too strong too fast by too much flattering, calling you pet names, touching you as if you are an “item” on the first date, or going for a passionate kiss within minutes of meeting you. Best to head for the hills as if chased by snakes!
- Progress slowly to corned beef and potatoes. Don’t start with a dinner date. If you haven’t pre-screened the person and met for coffee, a dinner date can be excruciating if your date continually complains about the ex, talks incessantly, or swears a blue streak. Only accept dinner for a second date, not a first.
Don’t flail yourself — or your date — with a shillelagh. If it doesn’t work out, don’t beat yourself up, nor blame your date. Be grateful that you quickly found out it wasn’t a match and move on. Let it go. Get back into the dating pool and try again.- Wear green. Unless, of course, you want to be pinched!
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