At dinner, a date once exclaimed, “Girl, I’m glad you like to eat!” I immediately wondered if I was wolfing down my meal, or if I had ordered too much and he thought I was pigging out. After quickly assessing I’d done neither, I asked what he meant.
“A lot of women eat like birds saying they are trying to lose weight. I like to eat and like to be with a woman who enjoys food.
I replied that I liked food and worked to eat consciously, healthily and only until sated. I saw his message was not an insult, but from his perspective, a compliment.
It took me a while to accept that when a man called me “thick” it was not a criticism on being fat, but an appreciative pronouncement on my curves.I’ve learned that if I think a remark is an insult, but the facial expression and voice tone say otherwise, I need to not get upset, but instead non-defensively ask for clarification. Some terms actually mean the opposite of what you’d initially think. Remember Michael Jackson’s song “Bad”? This actually meant “good.”
What disguised compliments have you received? What did a date say to you that you at first thought wasn’t good, but then learned it was praise?