Category: Real deal or faux beau

  • “If you could see you thru my eyes”

    In the film version of “Cabaret,” Joel Grey sings, “If You Could See Her.” This song extols his love for an unconventional female — a gorilla dressed as a woman. He sees her charm and beauty even though he knows these virtues are not easily seen by others. The lyrics say, “If you could see […]

  • Step up or step aside

    You have agreed to be exclusive with your beau. But he is not providing all he’s agreed to when you each articulated your needs to be exclusive. You’ve reminded him of the things you said you needed and he said he’d provide. He acknowledges he knows. He does not say he can’t give you these […]

  • What’s your definition of “independent”?

    The term “independent woman” is often seen in men’s profiles who seek self-sufficient women. It is their way of saying they want a woman who has a life of her own, interests, friends, a career and sufficient income. They don’t want someone who is clingy, reliant on them for all entertainment and definitely not someone […]

  • “He wants you on his terms”

    An older, wiser gal pal and I were talking about relationships, and specifically the one I was in at the time. I was sharing that I loved, loved, loved being with my guy, but his contact between dates every 7-10 days was intermittent, and he didn’t set future dates beyond the next day. This was […]

  • You want boo; he wants boo-ty

    A DG reader writes: I’ve been dating my 56-year-old boyfriend for a six months. I enjoy his company, both in and out of the bedroom, and he says he enjoys mine too. In the beginning, we’d go out to dinner, plays, concerts, movies, picnics, bike rides, etc. Now, he says he has to work late […]

  • Relationship’s fate turns on a single response

    Our relationship hung on my response to one question in an IM. Depending on how I responded, I would either end the highly passionate but sometimes frustrating relationship or would save it from sudden death and allow us to continue to explore our connection. It reminded me of the movie “Sliding Doors,” staring Gwyneth Paltrow. […]

  • Review of “All Men Are Jerks”

    All Men Are Jerks — Until Proven Otherwise: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding Men by Daylle Deanna Schwartz I was put off by the title of this book, just as I had been with Why Men Love Bitches. It turns out both books are full of sound advice, but their publishers must have decided inflammatory […]

  • Are you expecting a wild horse to act tame?

    DG reader Terri writes: The middle-aged man I’ve been seeing for a few months is Mr. Spontaneity. He rarely plans anything in his life more than a day in advance, including our getting together. Last week he called me as he was leaving his house — 45-minutes away — and asked if I would have […]

  • News flash: Man goes poof

    DG reader Gayle wrote: I was dating a man, then he quit his job of twenty years and seemed overwhelmed with stuff in his life. However, he kept assuring me we were fine. For months we talked every day — we knew exactly when to get a hold of each other. We had no secrets. […]

  • Should you take him back?

    DG reader AG writes: I recently dated a guy for a few months but then we had a falling out. We tried to discuss it by email and phone since we were both traveling and we couldn’t meet face-to-face. We set a time in a few days to meet to discuss if we should continue. […]

  • Where’s the line between getting your needs met and being selfish?

    Midlife daters generally have experience in relationships, and thus negotiating solutions to different relationship desires. However, if you have been unpartnered for a number of years, you are probably used to getting what you want because you haven’t had to take an adult partner’s desires into account. So let’s say you (or your guy) want […]