Dating dilemma — what would you do?

I am invited to speak on a cruise in 6 weeks. I and a guest will not pay for the cruise, just tips, excursions, and air fare.

“How great,” you say. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m considering inviting a guy I just started seeing, assuming we continue to hit it off and I don’t think he would drive me crazy for a week together. But my dilemma is what to do about the costs not covered by the cruise line.”

“What’s the issue? He’d pay for his own flight, excursions, incidentals, etc., right?” you respond matter-of-factly.

“Yes. He is getting a free $2000 cruise. Would I suggest he also pick up my incidentals, etc? Something like ‘My speaking covers your cruise. So you can pick up our other related expenses.’ Although he’s well off, that feels greedy. Depending on the excursions it could be $500 to $1500 per person.”

“You should suggest he pick up his own expenses, and if he offers to pick up yours, great, but don’t suggest or expect it,” you counsel.

“OK. Here’s where it gets dicey. If the roles were reversed, I’m guessing he’d pick up many of my expenses. And I’d let him pick up some.”

You are so wise. Write me a comment telling me what you’d do if you were in my place.

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2 responses to “Dating dilemma — what would you do?”

  1. Steve Mertz Avatar

    Goddess, I would tell him he has to pay for his incidentials and leave it at that. A stand up guy will offer to pay for yours as well. I’m glad to see that you know he’s well off-you have done what I suggested: A background check and a credit report…just kidding!! Have a great time FunSeeker!

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Steve, you are so wise. I needed a guy’s perspective. But I haven’t figured out how to do the credit report yet. Guys are so protective of their Social Security number. 🙂

    Thanks for the input. Makes sense.