“He who hesitates is a damned fool.” —Mae West
My friend Ken Braly wrote a hilarious piece, “Finding A House, Finding A Spouse” (posted in the Pages section) about how dating is like shopping for a home. I see this parallel.
If you are shopping for a new home, you would want to see properties that are close to what you’re looking for as soon as possible. You have some urgency because you know the property is on the market and many others are looking at the same place. If you don’t act quickly, you could miss out on your dream home.
Sometimes I am surprised by the guys who start emailing and/or calling, but don’t seem to have any urgency about meeting. The only conclusion I can make is they aren’t that interested in me. Of course, they may already be dating someone and fishing to have a “reserve” woman in case the current one doesn’t work out.
So by not setting something up, they may be missing out on their dream woman. I’m not meaning to sound conceited, as the knife cuts both ways. If I ignore the calls or emails of someone who seems promising, he may become disinterested, or meet someone who better fits his criteria.
If a man seems too urgent — pressing to meet me the same day we connect — then he seems desperate. There has to be a balance.
But if he’s made contact, we’ve emailed and chatted, and there’s no “close” for the date, I get the impression he’s not very interested. Even if he is traveling the next day, most guys who are interested will put something on their calendar for when they return.
So don’t let your dream guy move on by not responding within a day or two of his contact. And if he doesn’t invite you to meet him within a week of your chatting and emailing, he probably isn’t that interested. Move on, as there are other properties to look at!