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Dr. Jekyll/Ms. Hyde: Start the date on the right foot

Posted on June 27, 2006 by Dating Goddess

Yesterday a male friend told me how his last date lasted 5 minutes. He’s an affable, considerate, tolerant guy, so I couldn’t imagine what could go wrong in 5 minutes.

He said he’d had great, fun, pleasant, in-depth phone conversations with the woman, then asked her to a high-end restaurant for dinner. Nearly immediately after sitting down, she started telling him he was too religious and finding fault with other aspects of his life that are important to him. Even for this patient, sweet guy, enough was enough. He said “This isn’t working for me,” paid for the wine and left. He said he’d felt he had met Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde.

If she had trouble with his religiousness, she should not have accepted the date. Telling him was not going to change him. The only thing it changed was his willingness stick around and treat her to a nice evening.

First dates are about getting to know each other, not about fault-finding. You should be your best self — being on your best behavior but being yourself as well. You shouldn’t pretend you are someone you aren’t, but you should work to make yourself appealing enough that he wants to see you again.

Category: Are you ready for Mr. Great?, Dating after 40, First-rate first dates
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