Yesterday a male friend told me how his last date lasted 5 minutes. He’s an affable, considerate, tolerant guy, so I couldn’t imagine what could go wrong in 5 minutes.
He said he’d had great, fun, pleasant, in-depth phone conversations with the woman, then asked her to a high-end restaurant for dinner. Nearly immediately after sitting down, she started telling him he was too religious and finding fault with other aspects of his life that are important to him. Even for this patient, sweet guy, enough was enough. He said “This isn’t working for me,” paid for the wine and left. He said he’d felt he had met Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde.
If she had trouble with his religiousness, she should not have accepted the date. Telling him was not going to change him. The only thing it changed was his willingness stick around and treat her to a nice evening.
First dates are about getting to know each other, not about fault-finding. You should be your best self — being on your best behavior but being yourself as well. You shouldn’t pretend you are someone you aren’t, but you should work to make yourself appealing enough that he wants to see you again.
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One response to “Dr. Jekyll/Ms. Hyde: Start the date on the right foot”
This woman sounds like a taker to me — someone who in that moment was “dating for food.” If the issue with his religion was that monumental, it would have been better to let him know before he was willing to shell out a few C-notes on the evening.
I’m proud to say that I NEVER accepted a date with anyone in my entire life if I didn’t have a genuine interest in getting to know them better. This included Prom, an opportunity to see Led Zepplin 3rd row, and the latest and greatest new restaurants. It truly gets my goat when someone accepts a date because of the activity being offered rather than the desire to spend time with the person doing the offering.