Many of the women I’ve talked to say they’ve dated men who were emotionally unavailable. I realized I’m not sure how to tell if a guy is emotionally available or not. So I did a little research.
An article at Neil Rosenthal’s Heart Relationships site listed a number of ways to tell if someone is emotionally unavailable. After reading the list, I would say that a good deal of the men I’ve gone out with had at least one sign!
So does this mean that I attract men who are emotionally unavailable, or there is an inordinate percentage of the unattached men — at least listed on dating sites — who have this affliction? If the latter, is this why they are single?
One of the signs Rosenthal lists is, “They’re too busy, sick, tired or preoccupied with other things. Their energy, time and life-force are all taken with other priorities.” Many midlife people — both men and women — seem to have already full lives. In “Dating takes time” I talked about how surprised I have been with men who profess to want to date, yet have a hard time fitting in dinner or a movie between work, kids, parents, working out, friends, and other life maintenance. So is this lack of time for establishing a relationship because of their overextended lives, or because of emotional unavailability?
And how do we know that we aren’t the ones who are emotionally unavailable? What are the signals that you are emotionally available?
What are the signs you’ve seen that point to emotional unavailability? Share them in a comment so we can learn from your experience.
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