Falling in lust

” Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.” —Mae West

How do you know you’re falling in love vs. falling in lust? I don’t have the answer — I’m hoping you do! All I know is it feels like I’m falling in something!

Here’s what’s happening:

I met an amazing guy Wednesday. Everything clicked. I mean everything. There were no red flags — is that a red flag that he has no immediately detectable flaws?

We spent a lot of time together the next evening. Still, no glaring character flaws. No obnoxious habits so far. I know, you’re saying “You’ve only just begun to know him so he’s on his best behavior. The flaws will come out.” But usually when I’ve spent this amount of time with someone, their quirks have begun to show.

The confusion about lust vs. love comes when he’s got the important items on your “perfect man” list (tall, good looking, fit, funny, intelligent, thoughtful, chivalrous, educated, articulate) and there’s physical magnetism (love his energy, his kisses, his tender caresses). So are these all components of love, or does chemistry (lust) take over? Or is lust just a key factor in falling in love?

One guy pal described the difference: “When it’s lustful you think about touching her breasts. When it’s love you think about holding hands when older.” We decided love is when you want both.

I’ve fallen in lust before. You have barely met yet can’t keep your hands off each other. Things progress quickly and soon you’re intertwined. After a few encounters, you realize you don’t really know the person. One of you steps back and says, “We need to slow down.” Or you realize you’re further along than you want to be, so you break up — or just vanish.

So how would you distinguish the two? Share your thoughts in a comment.

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