A lot of people are feeling powerless lately — about their job security, their financial future, their retirement. Those of us who are dating are used to feeling powerless.
Men say they feel powerless because women set the pace in dating. Women decide how quickly or slowly a relationship advances. A man can feel helpless to get a woman to return his calls or go out with him.
Women say they feel powerless because men control the pace. How many times have you heard women complain about waiting for a man to call? Nowadays, women call men, of course. But even with all the advancements women have made, many still feel some stigma in calling a man or asking him out.
Recently I received an email after a second date with a man I liked. He said he enjoyed our dinner and would call before he left for an international trip a few days later. He’d always kept his word in the months we’d been talking. But not this time. So the quandary is do I call or email him, or just wait for him to surface if/when he wants to connect. I made it clear I’d like to see him again on our date and in our last correspondence. But maybe he felt otherwise as his lack of communication could seem.
I think the best thing we can do to protect ourselves from a feeling of powerlessness is to keep busy. Fill up your life with activities you enjoy and dating others until you’re getting what you need/want in the relationship. If you are talking to and seeing others, you don’t worry about not hearing from one — even if he is the one you like the best.
You don’t want to come across as needy or a stalker by texting/IMing/emailing/calling him multiple times. Let him come to you. If you make it clear you would say yes to an invitation from him and he still doesn’t move forward, that doesn’t need to hold you back. Keep moving forward on your own path without waiting for him to come with you. There are plenty of men who would love to have your company so don’t wait on one who isn’t sure.
If you’d like more info on dating multiple people, get your copy of Multidating Responsibly: Play the Field Without Being A Player now.