Getting your cute on

The other day, while preparing for a second date (dinner at a nice restaurant) with a special guy, it occurred to me how much date prep differs significantly between genders. No big revelation here. But the “ah ha” was how little I think one appreciates what the other does.

OK, really, I was thinking how little men understand and appreciate what a women does to prepare for a nice date with a guy she likes.

When a man recently emailed me on the date day to cancel, I thought about how most men don’t have a good picture of what many women do to prep for a date. I’d gone out of my way to do things I’d do at some point, but had some urgency because of the upcoming date with someone I felt was special (e.g., manicure, pedicure, curl hair, ensure outfit was clean and in good repair). So I spent extra time and money in prep for the date. I felt irritated that he didn’t bother to communicate to me more in advance since he knew days before that he was going to be out of town on our date day. I would have postponed some of my activities.

A man’s prep seems to include the following, starting with the basics and escalating the more he wants to impress her:

• Show up within 15 minutes of the agreed upon time
• Spray breath freshener/eat mint/brush teeth
• Don a clean shirt
• Comb hair
• Refresh cologne/after shave
• Shave again (assuming a late-in-the-day date and a heavy growth)
• Change clothes entirely
• Shower again
• Ensure condoms are in wallet
• Buy something to bring her (e.g., flowers, card, CD)
• Call or text her the day before to confirm plans
• Make reservation at restaurant

A woman’s prep includes the following, starting with the basics and escalating the more she likes him:

• Show up within 15 minutes of the agreed upon time
• Spray breath freshener/eat mint/brush teeth
• Don a clean top
• Apply or refresh makeup and perfume
• Do hair (self or by a stylist), including washing, dying, and/or curling/straightening
• Change clothes entirely, including changing into sexy lingerie
• Shower again
• Depilate (self or by a esthetician) various body parts
• Get manicure (self or by a manicurist)
• Get pedicure (self or by a manicurist) if toes show in shoes
• Get outfit dry cleaned or shop for new outfit/purse/shoes
• Obsess about what to wear that is flattering and is sexy enough without looking like a slut
• Call girlfriends and tell them about upcoming date, where he’s taking you, his history, your feelings about him and get advice on what to wear.

A woman can take from an hour to a week to prepare for a date, depending on how much she likes the guy, wants to make a good impression, and where they are going. If it’s a fancy event, it’s like she’s going to be on the red carpet. She wants to look and feel picture perfect. Even for a lunch or dinner date, she’ll go though a number of the items outlined above. Rare is a woman wanting to make a good impression who doesn’t spend at least some time renewing her make up, fussing with her hair, and thinking about her attire.

Unless you’re one of those rare women who looks stunning with no makeup and can show up in rags and still make heads turn, what else do you do to prep for a date with a special guy? And guys, what did I forget from your list?

_____________________

If you want info on what you need to know about getting back into the dating scene, download your copy of Dipping Your Toe in the Dating Pool: Dive In Without Belly Flopping.