You’ve been dating the same guy for a while. You’ve decided it is time to have a sleepover. You follow the rules set forth in “Sleepover do’s and don’ts.”
You’re snuggled in his arms, loving the closeness. You begin to drift to slumberland until … he starts snoring in your ear. And not just a sweet little muffled snorting or grunting. But a full-bore snore — the sound of a freight train running through your bedroom, or a foghorn warning the ships to stay at bay — even though you live in Kansas. Maybe he has sleep apnea, which can not only be dangerous, but Mac-truck loud as he begins to breathe again after a temporary cessation.
Two of my beaus had such deafening snoring I slept on the couch in other parts of the house to get away from the cacophonous noise. Even with ear plugs, I could still hear them! Once at a hotel, there was nowhere to escape. I was a hair’s breadth away from dragging a blanket and pillow to the walk-in closet to sleep — until I realized it was only 20-feet away and wouldn’t make much difference.
If only one of you snores, it can cause unrest (bad pun, I know). How can you have a snugglefest with your sweetie if you can’t sleep in the same room? Do you develop a routine of cuddling then retreat to the guest room or couch for sleep?
If both of you snore, however, it is a snorgasbord! As long as one of you doesn’t awaken the other with your nocturnal racket, you can both enjoy snuggling while snoring.
According to Breathe Right, “Snoring affects 50 million — more than half — of all U.S. households.” They make the newest version of what I consider a “marital aid.” No, not the kind that has been around for centuries. I’m talking about nasal strips.
I’ve asked snoring sleep partners to use these and they nearly always significantly reduced the frequency and volume of the braying. I consider them relationship life savers, along with comfortable ear plugs and breath mints.
Breathe Right even has a Snore-O-Meter that let’s you listen to four kinds of snorers. Great! Like I haven’t heard enough snoring to last a lifetime?
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