He makes you laugh — is that enough?

 “We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh.”
—Agnes Repplier

Women list the number one thing they want in a guy is “someone who makes me laugh.” While I agree this is important, it is not the over arching criteria on which to base a relationship.

Yesterday I was contacted by a guy who had emailed me several months ago. I had sent him one of my nice “thanks but no thanks” emails. I couldn’t find his online profile, so wrote back to ask for his handle. Along with his screen name, he sent me this:

“There are a lot of things missing in my profile that I would like to point out, so since bullet point presentations is what I do on a regular basis, I thought this would give you a better idea of who I am.

  1. My business is doing very well, so I am financially secure. Since all of this terrorist stuff started, they basically leave the drug dealers alone. As a result it would probably be several months before I try to borrow money from you.
  2. I am emotionally available. Ever since I was acquitted of my ex-wife’s death, all of the issues of emotional baggage are safely at the bottom of San Francisco Bay….literally.
  3. I am of upstanding and forthright character. This can be verified by the type of people that are frequently seen around me, judges, attorneys, miscellaneous members of law enforcement and parole officers.
  4. I have been clean and sober for almost six weeks now. Unfortunately I need to admit that I have put on a few pounds since giving up heroin as my diet aid.
  5. I was given a clean bill of health by the instructor of the anger management course that I was required to take (these court ordered things are so annoying). The instructor mentioned that he has never seen such a radical and permanent change in any student ever. Ironically I was punching him when he said that, but you get the general drift of what I’m trying to say.
  6. As a father, I have instilled excellent values into my children. My son was recently arrested and refused to rat out his co-defendants. Even after they offered to let him walk. Makes a father feel proud to see his son living by a code. My daughter has really taken my business sense and gone to a whole new level. She currently has about eight girls working for her. They are doing great. I don’t get to see her as often as I like, do to her business being only legal in Nevada. She has considered moving back to California, but seems to think L.A. is the appropriate place. There appears to be some significant market share since Heidi Fleiss left the business.

“Ok…so I am trying to make you laugh.”

Did he make me laugh? Yes. Did I agree to a date? No. There were too many things in his profile that were unappealing that even a great sense of humor couldn’t overcome. However, if there was only one or two things that weren’t a fit, I would have considered it based on his humor and persistence. So humor can tilt the scale in a guy’s favor. But it alone is not enough. Be clear on your criteria and if humor is one item, don’t allow it to overshadow all others.



3 responses to “He makes you laugh — is that enough?”

  1. carol Avatar

    Humour is a great quality to have but it isn’t enough.
    Moslty because we would want to know that this man who makes us laugh can also be serious and commited.
    Oh well….

    BTW,no 3 is a good one.

  2. Dating Goddess Avatar

    Exactly! As well as someone who knows when to turn off the humor. Someone who can never be serious has a serious “look at me” syndrome, which is why many people work to be funny — it’s an attention-getting device. And it often works!

  3. […] While I agree that laughing and making others laugh is important, laughter is not the only thing that determines compatibility. In “He makes you laugh — is that enough?” I talk about how a man’s ability to make you laugh can block out deal breakers if you let it. One man I met online makes me laugh like no other. Yet we are not a match in other areas. We have transitioned to friends so we can enjoy the parts of each other we like, and not get irritated with the parts that make us not a match. […]