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“Hot bunking” your beaus

Posted on August 26, 2006September 25, 2008 by Dating Goddess

No, I am not suggesting you hot wire your guys!

The original phrase “hot bunking” relates to sleeping in shifts on a ship. There aren’t enough bunks so one sailor gets up and another, just getting off duty, lies down before the other’s body heat dissipates.

I’m using the term tongue-in-cheek here, not literally! By “hot bunking” I’m referring to those days when you have a date with more than one guy. One gal pal shared she had 3 dates with 3 guys in one day! Wow! And I thought I once had a busy week going on seven dates with six guys in five days!

The secret to hot bunking is to plan the dates with enough time in between so you aren’t looking worriedly at your watch if the waiter is slow. So have a lunch date and a late-afternoon coffee date, or a drink after work. Or a morning coffee date and an afternoon one. Don’t try to do a coffee date right before lunch, unless you’ve told him you have a lunch engagement so must leave by a certain time. And don’t schedule two dates in the same restaurant, as the second might be early as you’re hugging the first one goodbye! In the same mall is fine, but you do run the risk of date # 1 lingering to shop and running into you with date #2.

The other secret is to review the details of #2 right before you meet, so you don’t get his details intertwined with #1. I bring a print out of #2s profile with me and any notes I’ve taken from phone conversations. I review them before I meet #2.

And if they do happen to cross over — you run into #1 in the mall while walking with #2 to Starbucks — just be cool. If you see #1 don’t try to hide, although sometimes a quick duck in a store with #2 may be the best move. But if you know he saw you, make eye contact, smile, waive, and if you speak, introduce them to each other briefly, but don’t linger. Hopefully, #2 won’t be hanging all over you, so you don’t need to explain who he is. And exit quickly, so neither one asks the other “So how do you know this hottie?” If you handle it coolly, they might see they aren’t alone pursuing you and need to act quickly to win your heart.

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Category: Are you ready for Mr. Great?, Dating after 40, First-rate first dates

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After her 20-year marriage dissolved, the Dating Goddess dated 91 men in 3.5 years. She shares her lessons, stories and advice for midlife women reentering the dating scene.

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