How sex is like hot cocoa

Good hot cocoa and good sex can both be delicious and satisfying. When each is good, it puts a smile on your face. You feel warm and happy afterwards. You often want more. When shared with someone you care about, they are fun and a great way to spend some time and you don’t say no when either is proposed.

However, hot cocoa without sugar is unsatisfying. In fact, it’s bitter and unpleasant.

So is sex without trust and an emotional connection — at least for most midlife women. This is the key component — the sugar — that makes it delightful.

Yes, there are women who can frolic without the need for any emotional bond. However, nearly all the midlife women I’ve talked to say they need that for satisfying sex.

So when a new guy said he was sexually attracted to me, I thanked him for the compliment. (Even though I know it doesn’t take much for some men to be sexually attracted to lots of women.) I said I found him attractive, too, but it took more than physical attraction for me to want sex with a man.

After we parted, I came up with the metaphor. It might have helped that I’d had hot cocoa with this man. I wished I’d come up with it when we were together as I think it would have explained my perspective.

What do you feel is the critical ingredient for satisfying sex?


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