Missing expressing a part of yourself

Do you ever feel sad at missing expressing a part of who you are? Maybe you love to paint but either don’t have the time or space to do it now. Or maybe you love to swim but you live too far from a pool to do it regularly. Or maybe you are exhilarated by snowboardng but live in Kansas and don’t have the means to get to the slopes.

I was feeling this way when it became clear a new guy wouldn’t evolve into a dating relationship. He said he wanted to take me to dinners, galas and dancing. I thought of my dating wardrobe — flattering evening wear, fun, short skirts with cleavage-peeking tops and other flirty attire. I don’t have a lot of opportunities to wear these clothes since I’ve cut back on dating.

When sharing this with a friend, she said, “You miss being able to express that part of yourself.” She nailed it.

Some would say, “Why don’t you just get your sexy wardrobe on and go out with the gals?” First, my gal pals don’t dress provocatively and so it would be strange if I did with them. I’m not prone to wear these clothes when out with gal pals as I’m not fond of looking at décolletage when spending time with another gal. Second, we don’t go to bars or places twenty-somethings go to meet folks.  And I would feel desperate to dress that way when going out to dinner by myself.

So I wear these clothes when I feel it’s appropriate — to galas and events where it is acceptable. Maybe I’m too concerned about not appearing like many women I see who seem to always be on the prowl.

Have you noticed missing a part of yourself during the quest for someone special? If so, what is it?