In response to a friend asking how I was doing, I told him of my most recent breakup experience — how cavalierly and insensitively my now-ex beau communicated his decision. I told my friend that despite my focusing on all the ways this man treated me disrespectfully, I was having a heck of a time moving on.
My wise friend responded, “Often rejection is protection. Think about how his personality would have shown up later on, with even more dire consequences.” My friend was right. If this guy could so coldly abandon our connection after his numerous expressions of devotion and adoration, what if my blind love had allowed us to continue? I’d have even more emotion and time investment in a man who wasn’t right for me.
When you are reeling from it, rejection does not look like a blessing. But even if the rejection isn’t heartbreaking, it is a clear sign that something is not right. To pretend otherwise is to live in a fantasyland. A place I find myself residing a bit too often.
So rejection — even if a cordial “thanks, but no thanks,” is protecting your heart from something that isn’t a fit. I think I’m getting closer to just saying, “Thank you” and moving on without anguish.