Review of and special offer for “Getting Naked Again”

Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You’ve Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted by Judith Sills, Ph.D.

Dr. Sills wrote Getting Naked Again for women over 45, although at times she includes men, too. She approaches the subject with a mix of academic research and anecdotal illustrations. She says she interviewed 100 men and women for this book.

Generally, her philosophy and mine meld. She discusses how to look at dating positively and to see this process as a way of learning about yourself. Her book is an easy read, not getting bogged down with anything too heady.

Dr. Sills’ use of “naked” is both literal and figurative. She talks about being vulnerable, honest and clear as part of being naked. And then she talks about literally getting naked as in sex. Chapters include: Reentry or Would I Sleep with Eisenhower?, You Bleed or You Thaw, Turning Single, Getting Your Head in the Game, Act 1: They Meet, and several others.

While she  illustrates her points with stories from her interviews, I find books written by people who haven’t dated in years (decades?) missing some connection. There’s no true understanding of what it feels like to go on even a coffee date and have the guy either 1) not show up, 2) ditch you after 10 minutes, 3) put no effort into putting his best foot forward, or 4) be someone in which you have no interest. Or, you get that adolescent joy of being infatuated with someone and the world is perfect — until one of you ends it.

The advice is sound, the writing is generally good and easy to read. For someone who hasn’t dated in a long time, she’s done the best she can by bringing in stories of those going through the process. And she does have sound advice — since it so closely matches much of mine! 🙂

The only other bone to pick is she uses the f-word periodically. Now I’m no prude, but as someone who makes my living through my words, as does she, I think this is a lazy person’s crutch. If you can’t find a more elegant way to express the same concept, you — or your editors — are just lazy. There is really no reason for an educated person to stoop to using base words, with only a few rare exceptions. I think it declasses Dr. Sills and her readers.

That said, all in all I give this book a thumbs up.

Now for the special offer: I’ve made an arrangement with her publicist to give a free copy of her book to the next five purchasers of the soft-cover (not eBook) version of Date or Wait. If you are one of the five, we’ll send you a copy of both for only $24.95 total (plus shipping and applicable tax). So order Date or Wait now and get your bonus copy of Getting Naked Again.