In “Boomerang boyfriends” I talked about how former beaus — or potential beaus — resurface in my life. If we parted on good terms, I enjoy seeing a guy again to catch up, but so far I’ve not rekindled any former love interest.
Tomorrow night I have an opportunity to see if this pattern changes.
I have a date with a man I dubbed “Dreamboat” when we went out three times a year ago. He went “poof” without a word, but I knew his new job had him traveling 28 days a month. I figured he hadn’t felt the spark I did, so, as many men do, just went away rather than saying so. We connected in Dec. when I asked his advice on an area of his expertise. He was helpful and friendly on the phone, and I offered to cook him dinner to thank him. He didn’t turn me down but also didn’t accept, so I figured he wasn’t interested in getting together.
Three weeks ago he emailed me and inquired about getting together. He’s taking me to dinner tomorrow.
Now I’m curious if my memory has embellished his characteristics over the year. Will we click as easily as we did the first time we met? Will we find each other as easy to amuse, interesting, and sexy? Or will the chemistry have fizzled?
Have you ever reconnected with a former love interest after a year or more? If so, did you pick up where you left off, or start to build rapport again? Did your memory match who he was, or had one of you grown beyond the other? Did you start seeing each other again, or did you decide it best to just be pals?
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Comments
4 responses to “Should you reconnect with a former love interest?”
This exact thing happened to me last week! I’d forgotten why we didnt keep it going…..I remember I thought he was nice looking……..Before we met for coffee, I remembered he had multiple personalities, after a night out with friends I realized one of his personalities clearly didnt care for my company. When we met for coffee I was assured I had made the best decision a year ago to not see him anymore……
The final outcome has not shown it’s face yet, I’ve know this man for over 30 years, but we are both going through transitions right now and the sky is the limit, so I’m not closing any doors yet. I want to see where this reunion takes us, like in the book/movie called the “Notebook”.
It all depends on where he is right now and where he was then–same for you. So many factors go into it. If you recall I started seeing someone last month who I met on line last year but never met in person because he started seeing someone else. A yr later he asked a mutual friend about me. I gave it 4/5 dates and realized there wasn’t enough chemistry for me. It was interesting how it unfolded. Now I am seeing someone who I met 3 months ago that I had chemistry with but he was just moving out of his 4 yr girlfriends house. I told him I knew it was too soon but when he felt ready to call me. I ran into him 2 weeks ago and he told me he was ready and the chemistry is great. Be careful, If he wasn’t that interested in you back then, it may be the same Or it could be what was going on for him that has nothing to do with you. If there is real chemistry you will pick up right where you left off and you will know right away I am sure, Can’t wait to hear what you have to say about it.
The best dating advice (or break-up advice!) was from a guy friend of mine. He said that, when we break up, we tend to remember the good things about the ex and forget the bad, but that we should make a a point to also remember what it was that broke us up. If we get back together because we miss the good stuff, it won’t be too long before we’re saying, “Oh yeah, NOW I remember why we broke up!!!”
xo Ellen
http://www.wonderfulonlinewomenLA.com