In every relationship, no matter how great, there are some hiccups: occasional miscommunication, unmet expectations, hurt and/or disappointment. The test for any couple is how these hiccups are dealt with. Even a budding relationship has missteps as you get to know each other’s patterns, preferences and perspectives. It’s like dancing with a new partner —…
Tag: Dating after 40
Pros and cons of expectations
I once read a quote, “The source of all disappointment is unmet expectations.” Perhaps unmet hope fits in there too, since all hope isn’t an expectation. In the beginning — and sometimes past beginning — of a relationship there are unspoken expectations on both sides. You expect he’ll treat you with respect, honor your spoken…
Is your guy’s loving muscle strong?
I’m talking about his willingness and ability to regularly show caring, affection and love, whether to you or others. I’ve noticed that men I’m dating who are used to showing their love to their parents, children, friends, church members, etc., are more able to express their love to me. They are unembarrassed about conveying their…
Dating with disabilities
DG reader Sherri asks: I recently met a man online who had one arm. We talked on email and by phone for about a month before meeting because we live 60 miles apart. When I finally met him, he was cute, funny, smart — but I could not get past the disability, which was more…
Clothes make the man
Nearly eighteen months ago a man sent me an email on a dating site where I wasn’t a member. Although he was in the right geographic, age and height range, his pictures showed an unsmiling, sunglasses-wearing, goatee-sporting man in a sports-team T-shirt holding up a newspaper with an unreadable headline. Huh? This is the best…
Edelman pays its coworkers to go on a “date”
Is Edelman encouraging fraternization? Helping relieve the stress of single workers trying to find a mate by pairing them with each other? Starting an internal dating service for their nearly 3,100 employees worldwide? No. They’re using the dating concept with a unique spin. The new Blind Date program begins this week. While it might kindle…
Getting to know a man through Google
A new man contacted me who held some allure so I promptly did a Google search, armed only with his profile’s unusual alias and his city. A wealth of information was divulged. I read the posting he’d made in public forums so could see his comments were thoughtful, articulate, and had correct spelling and punctuation….
Do you like yourself better now?
“I like you better now than when you were married,” a professional acquaintance shared recently. It was a surprising statement from someone I didn’t know well. But it got me thinking. How am I different than I was 5 years ago when my ex left? What has caused the change? Do I like me more…
Are you angry with him — or yourself?
Lately I’ve noticed myself getting angry with men I’m getting to know. The causes can be varied: he doesn’t call when he says he will, he doesn’t call for weeks then acts like we talked yesterday, he gets too fresh too soon, he doesn’t honor my stated boundaries, he makes assumptions without checking them out…
Assuming privileges
When you talk to a potential suitor regularly for more than a few weeks before meeting, a false sense of intimacy can develop. In flirty or soul-baring emails and/or phone conversations, you can begin to feel a budding emotional connection to the other. Then when you do meet, there is an odd closeness. You feel…
Is he willing to be vulnerable?
Women typically say they want a guy who is willing to be vulnerable with them, and with whom they can be the same. I’ve dated some men for months who never shared a vulnerable thought, even if I asked about his hopes, fears, dreams and regrets. Nothing. So I was pleased that a man I’ve…